Last night I lost control over my feelings. Couldn’t stop crying. My family went out so I stayed home alone. I turned off all my bedroom lights and went and sat in my closest. Started crying; weeping. I was thinking about cutting again. I was saying to myself “You promised. Don’t break the promises you made.”
Although I promised, I turned on the closet light and looked for the blades (2). As I was holding them in my hands I kept thinking of my friends and the promises I made.
After a while holding them, it was hard but I put them back and got up. Went to my desk and grabbed a sharpie (red). Started drawing red lines on my wrist.
It’s gonna be hard but I might make it through it.
9 comments
🙂
I hope you are able to put self-harm behind you now.
Ik life is hard but its harder with scars…keep up the sharpie and put down the razers.
It becomes an addiction. A new normal. I’m a cutter. I can’t stop. Even when I am ashamed of the scars.
Better luck next time 😉
I might have told you this before, but it helped me to run. I was in a bad neighborhood, so i just ran in place really. Put on some angry music, and go until theres nothing left in ya. Or a punching bag. I stopped cutting, and got in way better shape. I know that sounds like some stupid shit.
Cutting is shameful, as you know, but carrying those with you for the rest of your life, I can’t explain. Finding jobs, going to the beach, family and in laws. Im just rambling as usual, but there are a few things i DO know.
cut your leg instead of hand
I’m lately doing it, cause the summer t-shirts won’t let you hide your cuts
kind of hard to get used to
It felt good but it’s not right. I don’t want to be the one to break the promises. I would be a hypocrite if I broke them because I hate when people break the promises they made me.
you’re right, but it feels so good
I’ve made promise two times not to cut myself
and I’ve broken both 🙁
I promised myself, my friend Austin, my friend Destiny, and in some way I also promised God. (I don’t know if you’re religious but I believe in God)