I’m new to this, this is my first blog per say..
I don’t know really what’s going on, with who I am with what I’ve become, with really who I’m becoming. Maybe I came to this cite because maybe there’s actually people out there who understand that sometimes we really aren’t okay. Maybe you guys are my friends who actually deeply care.. Just maybe, who really knows these days. Where to start with my story..
I’ve thought and tried suicide to many times. But ironically, I’m still here.. Having so many just problems that suffocate my every breath I decided to just put the pills in and say my goodbyes.. 46 pills later, without even being flushed out people still aren’t caring who accidentally found out. Seeing a nutrionist, psycarsitist, and doctor as well and being prescribed to anti-depressants and being digonsed with depression and an eating disorder who am I anymore? I just wanted it all to end..
I just want something to fulfill my heart, my mind, my soul.
I know God is there and he loves me so, but do I even know who he is anymore?
i just want it all to end..
4 comments
I’m not a religious person, but I used to be. Let me take a crack at this..
I was always taught that God will never give you more than you can handle. When it feels like he’s forsaken you? When it feels like your ship is sinking and you’re going down with it? He’s got your hand. These trials make you stronger and show you what you’re capable of. That way, when youre old and looking back on your life you can say “yeah. I went through hell, but I lived to see another day.” No matter how bad things seem, he’s there keeping your head above water. Just take his hand and let him pull you to shore. If you love God, and I mean really love him, don’t turn your back on that because of this. Run to him and let him hold you. His sheep are all under close watch and he will never let you fall. You may be going through this so you’ll be able to help someone else in the future. But. As a follower of Christ, it isn’t your job to know why or what comes next or how you’ll make it out. Your job is to work hard and keep your faith. Because he’s there. Not just sometimes. Always.
That was so comforting, thank you for that. I guess questions and doubts just continue to fill my mind and wonder why all this is happening, but the words you spoke really touched my heart; thank you so much.
Always happy to help. I really hope things get better soon.
I really hope so too..