I know that I am privileged. Not in the monetary sense, but definitely in the surrounding elements department. I am reasonably healthy, have people around who love me, I have a job (not exactly a career…but it has been putting food and shelter around me) I have an amazing girl who loves me, and I am still breathing. So, I know I am in no self respecting position to complain about my life. After all, I have been blessed with the ability to construct my life how I want. Okay, everyone has there set backs/limitations on what cards they are given, but I know that I was given a pretty good hand. This being said, how can I know how fortunate I am, but still feel so numb on the inside? I don’t want pity, I want to be content about my life. I want to feel an emotion apart from sadness and guilt for being so sad. Yes, I would settle for content at this point. How do you train yourself to live in the present when you have spent every moment regretting the past and fearing the future? I want to do more than exist. I want to live.