Its 5 in the morning and my thoughts are wandering. It’s been a couple months since I’ve cut and I’m thinking about how much I miss feeling the freedom once that blade digs into my skin.
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My last cuts are just about healed. This last week was horrible, particularly Monday, but somehow I’ve avoided it despite being increasingly unstable.
It’s really hard to resist it. I managed to stop cutting for close to 15 years. I still thought about it a lot though. Then last year, during the holidays, everything just hurt so bad and I gave in.
I hope you are able to go a couple months more.
You did a really good job staying clean that long. That’s more than I would be able to handle, I usually need to get my emotions out or relieve myself through some sort of pain. This morning has been a failure though. My right thigh is now covered and the only thing I worry about is hiding them.