Call me an attention seeker. Call me what you will. But I know my intentions.
My anxiety makes me feel ugly. I can never do anything different and I want to so desperately. When I finally get the courage to do something different, my anxiety tells me I look so stupid. I see strangers look at me and I feel like they know it’s not how I usually look and they think I look stupid and shouldn’t do anything with myself.
I never wear makeup. But I look like a boy bum when I don’t and I feel so ugly. Tonight I put on makeup and did my hair because my sister was having a girl’s night and I wanted to feel pretty. So I spent an hour putting makeup on and another doing my hair, and I felt so confident and pretty–by myself at least. Then I went outside and felt so stupid and scared to be in public. I just want to feel comfortable being in public. I feel so stupid.. I want to wash off my makeup and go back to my normal, boring hair and plain face. I don’t like people looking at me and judging.
I want to cry and hide. Following is a picture of me. I feel so embarrassed and ridiculous. I feel I look like a 2 am hooker. Please don’t judge me, I hate myself enough as it is.
39 comments
You look very pretty. If strangers are looking at you it is because you look very good tonight.
I feel so stupid. I don’t even want to be here right now. I just want to go back to normal. This was a mistake..
You look great but I understand how anxiety can feel. If you need to go home then that is ok. Whatever feels best for you.
But I always bail on everyone and feel like I let everyone down. It was my own stupid decision.
It is not stupid to want to hang with your sister and friends and do your hair and makeup. That is the anxiety getting you down. Just remember it is not your fault. Millions have anxiety. It can hit anyone. It was nothing you did or didn’t do.
Thank you. 🙁
You are so pretty!
Thanks. But I feel like I look stupid.
Even if you did (you do not) we know you from your posts; you seem like a very smart girl.
Thank you. That means a lot to me. <3
You’re cute. (If you are under 18, I’m saying this in a purely complimentary way.) Everyone judges others in some way, it’s an automatic process. You do it too, so don’t worry about what anyone thinks. Try to have fun. 🙂
Thanks haha. I’m 20, no worries. And I wish I could just not care what they think. And I like to tell myself it’s okay to be weird but I feel like everyone is laughing at me and texts their friends after I leave a room about how dumb I look. I can’t stop thinking of everyone laughing at me.
Wait… you have blue eyes, whitish skin, delicate facial features, and you still think you are ugly? … gosh.
I blame society.
It’s not society.. It’s me. I never wear makeup or do my hair and when I try to change that my mind tells me no and that I’m an idiot for ever thinking I’d look okay.
Yeah i figured that much. Tbh i said “i blame society” just to blame something, because you are not ugly by any means, actually it’s quite the opposite (and your makeup there looks cool too), so don’t give it too much thought, you clearly don’t look stupid or bad at all (and that seems to be the general consensus).
Thank you, dear.
I hope you find away to cope with your anxiety. It sucks to feel alone in a crowd or to have attention when you don’t want it.
I hope so too.. Even if people are looking at me because they think I’m “pretty” I don’t even want that. I only do this to feel good about myself but I hate when people look at me. :/
I know exactly how you feel. My anxiety on my looks loosened up for a while, but lately I’ve had a lot of times I couldn’t stand looking in the mirror. I’ve also had lots of times when looked in the mirror and felt okay, but then when I go out I feel like I’m some kind of walking mutilation of nature. Looks shouldn’t matter and other people’s opinions of your looks shouldn’t bother you in the slightest. But you can’t help it when they do, and when you feel that kind of anxiety other people’s opinions bother you in ways you couldn’t imagine otherwise. I hope you find some techniques to help your anxiety. I’ve heard of people who have been cured of it so quickly, so there’s no reason you’ll have to live with it forever. Mine has been better, and I was much more confident when it was. When it was really bad, I felt like I was going to be attacked every time someone came close to me. Please remember it’s all in your mind. Your photograph is bright, but when people look at you in public, at the worst they’re thinking nothing about you and just looking around. I’m sure a lot of those people are admiring the way you look. You look beautiful.
I’m glad you’re finding ways to deal with it. I hope to do that too. I just want to feel pretty and like myself all the time and not worry about how others think of me. I hate being embarrassed to go in public just because I want to feel pretty.
My picture is bright. I took it in front of a window as every room in my house has terrible lighting. Plus I edited it to make it a little brighter because the color was off, and kind of blueish.
Thank you for your help. <3
Yo, I’m stalking your posts, sorry about that..haha. Just want to tell you you’re very pretty and your eyeliner is very well done. That might be a strange thing to say, but eyeliner is freaking hard to put on, it takes skill! D:
I actually use to be the same way whenever I wore makeup, really self-conscious and would think I look stupid, now if I don’t wear make-up I feel that way.
Sometimes the only way to win this battle with yourself and is accept the person you are and not what you look like. Easier said than done, I haven’t done it, but I’ve noticed that people who don’t focus on their appearance are happier.
Lol, you’re not being strange. Very nice, actually. But my eyeliner isn’t actually eyeliner. I use black eye shadow and a very thin makeup brush to apply. It’s so much easier that way.
In high school I wore makeup all the time. Then I got a boyfriend and a job and just kind of stopped. That transition was rough for me too but I was so busy it wasn’t as bad. Now I try and wear makeup again to feel pretty and I can’t do it. I go from one extreme to another.
are they piercings on your lips and nose they look great on you
Your username is very creative
Thanks. :p it’s a line from my favorite movie.
Yes those are my piercings. Thank you. Those are really the only things I like about myself.
I like those fucking piercings holy shit you’re beautiful a few tats and you’d look like a goddess
Thank you, you’re too kind lol.. I actually do have a couple tattoos and planning for more, but I’m still nowhere near a goddess. I don’t even think I should be in public. I look stupid.
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no you’re piercing complements you really well and those tats probably look sick
xD I’d like to think so. But one I got by a now-ex when I was drunk. It looks awful and covering it up will be my next tattoo. Thank you so much.
Well, if they do that it makes you like a celebrity. You know what they say… “Any publicity is good publicity.” Some people feel sad because nobody notices them, but if they notice you (and I’m sure they do, in a good light, because you’re both pretty and have cool piercings), you should feel proud that you’re now a conversation topic. 😉 Embrace being unique. If you do, no one will laugh at you, they’ll wish they could be your friend or date you instead.
Not to sound like I’m being condescending or anything, because when I was younger I was kinda shy, until I started to just chose bold outfits and hairstyles and did whatever I wanted. If anyone laughed at me, I never heard ’em, or I just smiled back. (Now I’m a bit older and boring and conventional.)
*Agh, sorry. I tried to reply under your response but it hasn’t allowed me. @operationmintyhippo
I figured. 🙂
I guess I just don’t like being noticed then. I want to be myself and go unnoticed like every other day..
In high school I wore crazy clothing and band shirts and I had bright ass red hair and didn’t care how I looked. I felt happy with myself. I just want to be confident again.
Thank you to everyone who commented. It means the world to me and you were all so nice about it. I really didn’t make this for attention, I just wanted help with my anxiety. And I guess also someone else telling me I don’t look as stupid as I feel. I just want to feel confident again to be myself in front of others and I appreciate all of your help and support. You’re all superb people. <3
Yeah you shouldn’t consider posting here a mistake we don’t bite we all try to help each other through life and no one passes judgement because different things may have happened but we all ended up here somehow
I wad just afraid people were going to think I was asking for attention. But that’s not me at all.
And I’m glad I ended up here. You’re all awesome.
Something in your life must’ve caused you to lose your self-confidence. You should try to pin down what it was then come to terms with it and accept your flaws are no worse than anyone else’s. You are not beneath anyone else-always tell yourself that.
When I read your post I thought perhaps you might be some sort of butch looking girl and that would be ok too-but then I see your pic and you look like a girly-girl, I was pleasantly surprised. You’re very pretty.
You remind me of myself. Sometimes I feel like a total loser, I hate myself, am insecure and because of that, I haven’t been as confident as I should’ve in certain situations. Then I’ll walk by a mirror and see someone totally different from the person I feel to be inside. And I think how could someone who looks like that be so fucking insecure?
Now I deal with it simply by being confident in most situations I’m in and nothing thinking about how I look. So whether people think I’m attractive or not, I don’t let it affect me. I just go after what I want. <3
I think I talked myself into feeling ugly because I don’t look like other people. I try to be myself but I feel stupid because I don’t look like others. Then get embarrassed because they’re judging me on my differences.
Thank you for your compliments and help. I will try to not pay attention to others.