So.Next week I’ll have my final and the most advanced exam. So I know it’ll be little hard. I’m depressed and I can’t remember many things. But I know I will pass with just low grades. But, when can I do what I love to do? I hate this formal advanced education. I’m facing exam that I don’t want to be. I won’t be who I wanna be. I’m forced to do my family wanna see. See you later people. I just do best as I can. Hopeless what to do next..
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After I left school, I had this grand image in my head that I’d only ever do the things I’d love in comparison to suffering through such things as secondary school which I had done for the last few years. Well I did the things I loved but I neglected everything else and then I had dropped out which nearly broke me. The truth is you have endure everything that you find meaningless,difficult or soul killing because all the suffering makes the good things in your life even sweeter.
That’s what happened to me. Most of my posts are about exams, exams and exams… it’s awful, but we have to do it in order to get through life, don’t we? I think we both just need a break from education, and focus on ourselves for a bit until we can function properly. I’m forgetful as well, not to mention incredibly lazy, and that doesn’t help the situation when I need to do something. I’m getting my results soon, dreading it and can’t run away from it… so we’re essentially on the same boat… like you said, just do the best you can. That’s what I did… though my ‘best’ equates to almost no effort and constant rambling, which isn’t anything at all. That’s fine, for now… until we get better, something that I can’t put a timescale on, it might be a little easier then.
What do you want to be? You can’t live your life trying to make others happy. Don’t you deserve to be happy yourself? Good luck on your exam but I do hope you will one day be able to do something that makes you happy.