I relapsed with self harm and over medicating a week or so ago. Before this, I had been chatting with a guy who I met at my gym. We’ve been talking for quite a while and we get along pretty well. We used to have feelings for eachother but he went into the marines and we decided that it would be best to just remain friends. He’s been out for a year or so and we’ve been talking again. Those feelings I had for him are still there, albeit a bit faded, but I since I relapsed recently, I don’t really want to start a new relationship. He says he loves me and I think I feel the same, but I really don’t want to be in a relationship right now. I’ve tried to break up whatever it is we have, but he pulls me back in again and I cave. He’s also pushing to see me in person soon, as it’s been a little while. I don’t want to do this, because I think it will be harder to break this off.
How do I get him to stop pushing me? Or what’s the easiest way to break this off with as little pain for him as possible? Has anyone been through anything remotely similar? If anyone has any advice, please please tell me. I don’t deal with problems like this often. I don’t want it to seem like I used him and don’t need him anymore, because I really do care about him. Everything is just a mess at the moment.
I don’t want people to tell me that I should give this a go, because I don’t want a relationship right now. However, all advice and comments are appreciated.
My depression is just crushing me right now, and this is too much for me to handle with grace. I just need help.
1 comment
Hey sleeplessinSTL I had a vaguely similar scenario 18 months back. My advice (and what I did) was be limited in detail but truthful. I would simply explain that whilst you like him you aren’t in a position for a relationship right now. As he’s in love he’ll likely be pretty disappointed (understatement!) and he’ll likely disappear only as a way if controlling feelings for someone he cant have. I had a great platonic friendship with a girl for 6 years and when she asked for more I had to politely but honestly tell her my thoughts. I simply wasnt into her the way she wss into me. I was really disappointed that the result is we havent spoken since as shes really cool but I understand its just not always feasible to be friends with someone you love.
Whether this is thenresult for you no-one knows.
I’m intrigued what others will advise too. All the best with it though, this sort of thing is never easy. Not least of all when your particularly sensitive emotionally etc. (I mean that in a respectful way as when I’m down I am very sensitive to any emotional triggers lol).