Sorry if this is a total ramble but nothing makes sense anymore & I need to talk to someone. My entire life is completely fucked. The crazy thing is, I have to best mates and a boyfriend that care about me (at least I think they do) but none of them understand. I mean really understand. My dad died 8 years ago, my 15 year old moved out 9 months ago to live with my ***** mother (don’t even get me started on that subject!), I’ve been forced to rent out my two bedrooms to cover the rent (I’m living in the lounge), I have no job (nor any prospect of ever getting one). I’ve been on antidepressants for 17 years but even my doctor doesn’t really understand. he just nods sagely & ups my dose. I have no idea who I am anymore. The only thing keeping me from ending it all is the fact that I don’t yet have enough pills to do the job properly. I’m so sick of this life & just want it to be over. Being without my baby physically hurts. My arms constantly ache from being without her. I know categorically that she’d be better off without me. I’m so sick of this life. I just want it to be over.
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6 comments
It’s the case for everyone, we are condemned to be on eath without being understood. If you are loved, but not understood, you are only half miserable.
Don’t expect doctors understand, it’s not their job, sometimes a psy understands, but it’s hard to find a good one who is ready to try to undestand people.
I understand about how you feel to be unemployed and having a very bad mother. Why don’t you have hope for a job?
Antidepressants are good for a while, but so many years, they could be one of the reasons for your depression.
Hey, I can’talk do much but I kinda know how it is to lose something, I’ve lost friends, my parents separated and life just seems so out of reach. Still I feel guilty for being down with people in a worse situation than mine. If I can help somehow, let me know.
People who says: “there is worse situation than you, you don’t have the right to be depressed”.
It’s just stupid.
Yes… for sure comments like these are very very stupid.
Firstly, avoid pills as the success rate isn’t great. I’m not encouraging, just stating fact.
I don’t think you’re rambling… regardless, feel free to ramble away.
I too have been on antidepressants for some time (13 years)…..
I feel for you and your situation. My heart goes out to you.
I have to second what Mark_1981 said, pills are not the way to go, they are just to unreliable. I know been there, done that; I think more than a few of us have honestly.
While I can’t understand your particular situation, I can sympathize.
Life isn’t fair and never has been and it shouldn’t be this hard to live or to die.