I made plenty of friends but none, absolutely nobody cared to be anything more than a casual friend. I was always wondering how others could form bonds, they saw me as nothing but a clown that kept them entertained. My girlfriends never loved me. Only a few childhood friends invited me to places, into their lives as companions, It’s a strong motivation for dying. How can I fail at getting close to people when humans are supposed to be social animals? It’s weird. I am too obscure to live, I was cast away by my fellows. They are done with me.
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if someone doesn’t appreciate you, it’s their problem not yours, anyway we are surrounded by plenty of people, i’m sure that you will find a friend. (^_^)
I have never really had any real life friends, more like acquaintances.
I am sorry to hear this
I’ve always felt I don’t fit in anywhere. My father’s family hated my mother; my mother’s family hated my father. At school the posh kids thought I was too poor and the poor kids thought I was too posh. I’ve had the occasional friend but everyone always leaves in the end.
I had one long term relationship: we were together for almost 4 years but they never said they loved me and they didn’t value me or respect me. I know they are a decent person so it just reinforces my conclusion that if the person who knew me best out of anyone in the whole world couldn’t love me, then there can’t be anything to love about me.
My own mother says she doesn’t want me around unless I can be ‘calm’. Yeah well I can’t manage that so I don’t see her either. (I have my father’s temper you see, so I remind her of him too much).
So no one wants me, I don’t trust people as they always end up letting you down in the end. I can’t cope with crowded, noisy places so I don’t like going out.
I really feel I have nothing left to give and I don’t want to be here any more. I wish I wasn’t afraid of physical pain, then I could just do something violent and die that way. But I’m a coward. I wish I could just get a poison from the doctor and take that and then I would have to deal with this hell-ish life any more.
I can relate to Hjerteblomst and to you. Sometimes I feel lonely even in a gathering. Sometimes it feels I’m just the entertaining guy who people contact when they’re bored or sad. I’m just the wall to fall back upon, but not to be loved. But I never had the guts to suicide, nor will have. And I’m happier that way. Everyone is self-centred. You need to be too. You need a friend? You’ll find some true ones surely. And you’ll get friends here too. You can contact me even if you want. 🙂