Ylem, are your nasty Christ-loving neighbors threatening you? Find your family, dear. Do run! You need to get though this week. Don’t let those hypocrites win! Don’t let them silence you.
Her brother was murdered in front of her by some rabid Christian neighbors, Mf. I don’t think the country she is in has been established but it has that Croatia/Serbia flavor. I suppose it could be Georgia or Kazikstan.
Anyway, if she says someone is trying to murder her then I assume it’s the neighbors.
Just read a previous post and i’m sorry, i didn’t knew ylem31’s story so i just made a (pretty bad) guess. I guess i’ll just crawl back to the hole i came from, and… again, i’m really really sorry.
Yelm seems to be pretty hard core so I doubt she would mind. She’s dealing with some heavy shit and your mistake is not on her radar.
Mf, you aren’t expected to be able to keep track of everyone’s fucked up life. The only one that can do that is Hazy, and she can only do it because her chickens can memorize entire SP posts.
MF… Im not offended at all. SeeSmith saying Im hardcore gave me some strength and made me smile a little. Thanks.
And, Im from South Africa. Not straight outta Compton…
Thank god. I’m cancelling that gift basket order then 🙂 (really sorry about your situation btw…any way that you can get the hell out of there? that sounds like a good choice all things considered…)
Yep! Its either you recant your statement, dont be a witness when the case comes up, or we’ll chop them off one by one and make sure you watch, before you join them.
I just asked my mother. “Do you really think we are safe?”
She tells me nothing will happen. She’s in contact with the cops and thinks she has things under control. I guess she really believes they wont do anything since they’ll be the first suspects. But I seriously doubt that. Just a month ago my siblings had to be fetched by cops from school because they were being threatened. Just this Saturday, 2 people were shot dead.
It was better when I was at varsity. I had something to keep me occupied. Now school is closed and Im at home. I cant really leave home without looking over my shoulder. Its making me more depressed and increases my social anxiety even more. On top of that, I cant sleep. I keep waking from terrible nightmares, scared they might attack at any moment. Its fucking ridiculous.
I am constantly reminded that all of this is happening because of me. I should have kept my mouth shut about the bullying and the abuse. My brother would still be alive. They are not making me feel any better when they say things like, “You’d better finish school and get your family out of here because your brother died for you, because of you. All of this is happening because of you.” I know that already and I fucking hate myself for it. My entire family is in danger because of me and my big mouth. I have to live with the guilt. Having suicidal thoughts at this very moment adds more to the guilt.
I had the perfect plan. Well, it looked perfect to me. I wanted to finish school, get my family out of this shit hole, then off myself before I turned 35. They are fucking up my plans.
I know this sounds like something out of an action movie. This is not how I pictured my life.
1) You are in a warzone. Things in SA have been falling apart in the last 10 years. This is not ridiculous.
2) You are a child. Not really, but damn close. Adults have to have SERIOUS TRAINING to recognize dangerous situations and defuse them. You didn’t know any better. You SHOULDN’T have to know any better.
3) There is NO WAY you are responsible for your brother’s death. The people that killed your brother are violent jackals. They bear all of the guilt for what happened. The police and the government also bear responsibility for what happened. They have done very little to prevent these outbreaks of violence.
4) I can only assume some of your family would say such shitty things because they are in great pain. I’m sorry.
5) You deserve to have a safe, happy life. What you’ve experienced has scarred you and you’re going to have a crappy skewed way of looking at the world for some time. You already have PTSD and depression. If I could fly there and pull you and your family out I would. Sorry, only you can keep yourself alive. You need to hang in there. For you. For your family. For the memory of your brother. For other families that are being harassed and attacked right now. You need to bear witness.
I know you are going to keep blaming yourself and feeling like you want to pitch headlong into death. So you may not take any if that crap I wrote to heart. I wanted to say it anyway, for the record, just in case one tiny bit gets through to you.
I’ll do a better job if listening from now on. I know sometimes trying to fix things isn’t very helpful. I just wish I could save you. You are destined to be a healer, not merely a survivor.
@MF: I wish I could get the fuck out of here, but I cant. Im stuck. We all are. I wish this was all over already.
Also, can I take that back so I can get the gift basket?
@Ylem31: sure, haha. I’m actually considering sending postcards on holidays or whatever to peeps on sp that are willing to share their address (got that idea from another fellow poster). I don’t think many will want to (i mean, sharing name and address and all) but i’ll make a thread about it in a couple of days. Now, if i were to send a gift basket to everyone… most likely i’d need to sell my house haha.
SeeSmith, what you’ve said is not crap at all. I really appreciate it. Thanks.
Only I can save myself from this.
I just find it funny that I’m losing the battle between me and my suicidal thoughts, but Im willing to fight and stop them from killing me.
Whats up with that?
A Saffa, eh? I know plenty of your folks who’ve emigrated to NZ and established themselves in both Botany and the North Shore. Honestly, I was going to suggest you seek refugee status since you were in a warzone, but obviously SA isn’t classified as one in the sense that the UN would recognise it.
Like Smitty above there, I wish I could get to you and provide some fire support. Honestly. Seems like a waste to let all that training the army gave me just wither away without making one last difference. Holy shit, this makes me even sadder and angrier…
To any millionaire here on SP — you pay for my flight to SA, get me a HK MR-762 rifle with 10 magazines and a box of match grade ammunition, and I’ll make sure our friend here with her family are kept safe. I’m not fucking kidding.
20 comments
What is the reason behind giving up?
Someone is trying to kill me. Im done running away from them. Im tired of life anyway.
That’s it. Now you got it. When you stop trying so damn hard, that’s when life begins.
Interesting insight you have there Randall. 🙂 Haven’t encountered a moment like it but it makes sense.
Ylem, are your nasty Christ-loving neighbors threatening you? Find your family, dear. Do run! You need to get though this week. Don’t let those hypocrites win! Don’t let them silence you.
Why would someone be trying to kill you? or is that just a way of saying you’re doing it yourself? care to elaborate on that one?
Either that, or jehova witnesses are really taking it far this time.
Her brother was murdered in front of her by some rabid Christian neighbors, Mf. I don’t think the country she is in has been established but it has that Croatia/Serbia flavor. I suppose it could be Georgia or Kazikstan.
Anyway, if she says someone is trying to murder her then I assume it’s the neighbors.
Just read a previous post and i’m sorry, i didn’t knew ylem31’s story so i just made a (pretty bad) guess. I guess i’ll just crawl back to the hole i came from, and… again, i’m really really sorry.
Yelm seems to be pretty hard core so I doubt she would mind. She’s dealing with some heavy shit and your mistake is not on her radar.
Mf, you aren’t expected to be able to keep track of everyone’s fucked up life. The only one that can do that is Hazy, and she can only do it because her chickens can memorize entire SP posts.
MF… Im not offended at all. SeeSmith saying Im hardcore gave me some strength and made me smile a little. Thanks.
And, Im from South Africa. Not straight outta Compton…
Thank god. I’m cancelling that gift basket order then 🙂 (really sorry about your situation btw…any way that you can get the hell out of there? that sounds like a good choice all things considered…)
Yep! Its either you recant your statement, dont be a witness when the case comes up, or we’ll chop them off one by one and make sure you watch, before you join them.
I just asked my mother. “Do you really think we are safe?”
She tells me nothing will happen. She’s in contact with the cops and thinks she has things under control. I guess she really believes they wont do anything since they’ll be the first suspects. But I seriously doubt that. Just a month ago my siblings had to be fetched by cops from school because they were being threatened. Just this Saturday, 2 people were shot dead.
It was better when I was at varsity. I had something to keep me occupied. Now school is closed and Im at home. I cant really leave home without looking over my shoulder. Its making me more depressed and increases my social anxiety even more. On top of that, I cant sleep. I keep waking from terrible nightmares, scared they might attack at any moment. Its fucking ridiculous.
I am constantly reminded that all of this is happening because of me. I should have kept my mouth shut about the bullying and the abuse. My brother would still be alive. They are not making me feel any better when they say things like, “You’d better finish school and get your family out of here because your brother died for you, because of you. All of this is happening because of you.” I know that already and I fucking hate myself for it. My entire family is in danger because of me and my big mouth. I have to live with the guilt. Having suicidal thoughts at this very moment adds more to the guilt.
I had the perfect plan. Well, it looked perfect to me. I wanted to finish school, get my family out of this shit hole, then off myself before I turned 35. They are fucking up my plans.
I know this sounds like something out of an action movie. This is not how I pictured my life.
1) You are in a warzone. Things in SA have been falling apart in the last 10 years. This is not ridiculous.
2) You are a child. Not really, but damn close. Adults have to have SERIOUS TRAINING to recognize dangerous situations and defuse them. You didn’t know any better. You SHOULDN’T have to know any better.
3) There is NO WAY you are responsible for your brother’s death. The people that killed your brother are violent jackals. They bear all of the guilt for what happened. The police and the government also bear responsibility for what happened. They have done very little to prevent these outbreaks of violence.
4) I can only assume some of your family would say such shitty things because they are in great pain. I’m sorry.
5) You deserve to have a safe, happy life. What you’ve experienced has scarred you and you’re going to have a crappy skewed way of looking at the world for some time. You already have PTSD and depression. If I could fly there and pull you and your family out I would. Sorry, only you can keep yourself alive. You need to hang in there. For you. For your family. For the memory of your brother. For other families that are being harassed and attacked right now. You need to bear witness.
I know you are going to keep blaming yourself and feeling like you want to pitch headlong into death. So you may not take any if that crap I wrote to heart. I wanted to say it anyway, for the record, just in case one tiny bit gets through to you.
I’ll do a better job if listening from now on. I know sometimes trying to fix things isn’t very helpful. I just wish I could save you. You are destined to be a healer, not merely a survivor.
@MF: I wish I could get the fuck out of here, but I cant. Im stuck. We all are. I wish this was all over already.
Also, can I take that back so I can get the gift basket?
@Ylem31: sure, haha. I’m actually considering sending postcards on holidays or whatever to peeps on sp that are willing to share their address (got that idea from another fellow poster). I don’t think many will want to (i mean, sharing name and address and all) but i’ll make a thread about it in a couple of days. Now, if i were to send a gift basket to everyone… most likely i’d need to sell my house haha.
SeeSmith, what you’ve said is not crap at all. I really appreciate it. Thanks.
Only I can save myself from this.
I just find it funny that I’m losing the battle between me and my suicidal thoughts, but Im willing to fight and stop them from killing me.
Whats up with that?
A Saffa, eh? I know plenty of your folks who’ve emigrated to NZ and established themselves in both Botany and the North Shore. Honestly, I was going to suggest you seek refugee status since you were in a warzone, but obviously SA isn’t classified as one in the sense that the UN would recognise it.
Like Smitty above there, I wish I could get to you and provide some fire support. Honestly. Seems like a waste to let all that training the army gave me just wither away without making one last difference. Holy shit, this makes me even sadder and angrier…
To any millionaire here on SP — you pay for my flight to SA, get me a HK MR-762 rifle with 10 magazines and a box of match grade ammunition, and I’ll make sure our friend here with her family are kept safe. I’m not fucking kidding.
Sherphard, you just cracked me up. Im tearing up from laughing so hard. Thank you for that.
I think shepherd is serious.
you might like the song “hasa diga eebowai”