I’m getting progressively worse, and better.

Let me explain, lately I’ve been having an issue with my compulsive disorder coming back, along with my depression. Thing, is I’m confused as all hell because there’s been no major event to bring about such a radical change in my mental state. I mean, I’ve studied this disorder for a few years now and I’ve gotten a basic understanding on what “kind” I have. Mine was inherited but a major event that happened a few years ago caused a downward spiral to serious depression. Same with my compulsive disorder. I’ve studied well enough to know that another cause besides inheriting a predisposition towards depressive behaviors, there’s also having a major event happen in your life, this can be anything big, even happy things. So I’m confused as to why this is going balls up, I’ve kept a rather stable lifestyle, been taking the same dose of medication, no drugs, and absolutely nothing huge has happened in my life.

Now for the good stuff, the improvement. So if you’ve ever read my first posts you’ll notice that I’ve struggled with a pornography addiction, which is completely possible due to the chemical rewards brought on by any pleasurable event, that can eventually lead to a dependency on this event. Doesn’t sound too good, does it? Thing is I’ve created a sort of detox program for myself. I’ve tried quitting cold turkey before and it didn’t work out too well, I’d always come back and it’d be even worse than before. What I’ve done to alleviate this is make it an every other day basis which will eventually evolve into every two days, three days, and so on and so forth. Right now I’ve made it past the every other day stage and made it to every two days, so there’s that. Woohoo!