Or Bettas.
Been messing with this damn thing for two days. I’m just going to post it.
HDS
Tag:
two days
I haven’t cried in years, but I cry often now.
I cried today because a teacher sent me a letter. I’ll probably fail that class. The message was from a month ago, but I was too scared to open my inbox until now.
I cried the other day because my sister ate a plate of spaghetti that my mum made for me, it was left in the fridge for when I got back home. I’d only eaten a few biscuits in two days, I was hungry. But I was too tired to cook anything now that I had no pasta, so I didn’t eat this […]
I’m gonna die in two days and I don’t know if I should be happy about it. Kite, I am but I just can’t figure out why.
I already know how it’s going to be. Saturday I’ll work like crazy catching up on laundry and housework and cook something good, probably chili because it’s going to be cold. Sunday will be crap cause it always is. I’ll probably be somewhat hungover, as usual. I hate every day I work because it’s getting too stressful but days off are just as bad, if not worse. Guess I’m just stuck in a rut. Hope I can enjoy this weekend. I’m getting so tired of everything lately. I’m rambling and I’m done. It feels like my moods crashing already. Goodnight.
so today I woke up and wondered why should I …nothing for me to do I’m not making any money today I’m gonna cook and clean and get fuck so, I’m upset.. so when my great husband *sarcastically said * ask why I’m so upset I said do I have any reason to be happy… he said * now this was fucking rich * “try harder I’m not happy either i have no car no money you need to WORK HARDER so wipe that look off your face” I can’t even be upset when I want to how can I not be fake with […]
I am not sure if this is going to break the rules or not and I am sorry in advance if it does.
Tonight at 11pm GMT I will start the song that I have already decided I will fall “asleep” too. At the start of the song, I will drink my “sleepy time” juice followed with a shot of vodka to make it even more so. I should be asleep within 90 secs-2 mins. Long before my favorite song will end. Its the one I always dance to when I do ballet.
While I will be all alone for this moment, I would like very much […]
Spent $250 today on supplies for my exit.
Have booked in a days leave from work in two days time so I have the whole night and day by myself to pull this off.
I have tried before & failed. It was painful and i dont want to go through that again.
The method Ive chosen this time should be painless if all goes to plan.
Thoughts of my family keep trying to push their way into my brain, but I keep pushing them out . I know they will be OK & I know I simply can’t go on being me.
I’m a […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
It’s been a very long time since I’ve found myself in such a dark place. My husband of 6 years has betrayed me. When I became aware of this, we talked. As broken as I was, I tried to be level-headed as well as sympathetic to what he was going through that would lead him to do what he did.
The next two days, though difficult beyond words, he did exactly what I needed from him; we communicated, at length. He took responsibility for his actions, and we continued to talk. But then, he suddenly changed his tune. He became cruel. Threatening to hide even […]
Despite nearly trying to end my own life again last week (without even posting on here, I might add, my head was a little too swimmy to form sentences) I feel strangely alive today.
Maybe it’s just because I finally mustered up the willpower to wash my hair for the first time in two weeks, because I am a disgusting human being. I just found it difficult to do much, so I didn’t wash my hair. But I did it today, and I feel strangely good. More like a person now, rather than something that lay there doing nothing.
Maybe it’s just because I’m not […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Let me explain, lately I’ve been having an issue with my compulsive disorder coming back, along with my depression. Thing, is I’m confused as all hell because there’s been no major event to bring about such a radical change in my mental state. I mean, I’ve studied this disorder for a few years now and I’ve gotten a basic understanding on what “kind” I have. Mine was inherited but a major event that happened a few years ago caused a downward spiral to serious depression. Same with my compulsive disorder. I’ve studied well enough to know that another cause besides inheriting a predisposition towards depressive […]
Just when I think that I got everything under control, life never ceases to throw a curveball my way. Moral of the story LIFE SUCKS always has, always will. What is hope nowadays? I feel like I’ve hit rock bottom for the thousandth time in two days. What to do, what to do?
I haven’t eaten or drunk anything for two days. My parents called the doctor. He’ll be here in an hour and I’m really scared.
I just want to die…
There are some things about life that I absolutely love.
There’s hope in my heart that things will get better.
But I know that’s just wishful thinking.
I’m ready to leave this place behind and see what’s waiting for us on the other side.
I’ve hurt so many people that were nothing but good to me, I know this will hurt them more but at least It will be the last time.
I’m scared but excited I don’t know if i’m strong enough to go through it all again.
I’ve over dosed and ended up in hospital twice.
Most recent was two days ago.
I’m […]
So I stumbled across this site on one of my darkened days. I haven’t slept, ate, or drank anything in two days. My world came crashing down the day I found my mother outside dead from a shot gun to the chest. At first I was in shock, never saw that coming in a million years. my momma was the type of person who loved life, cherished every moment of it. but just like that, she decided she couldn’t take the pain away. she left me, alone, in this world with nothing and no one. I cant bare this pain that I’ve been going through, […]
Hey guys.
This is like my third post in two days.
Please advise on how to handle that feeling that noone really cares and the world would be waaaaay better off without you.
Cus, i for the past one month thats all i have been thinking. Cus i am a coward, i am still alive.
People , actually, one person who i thought cared a lot just turned out to be another one who didn’t.
Guys i had adieu you all. I had said i will be cutting my wrist. But i faild. I was applying local anesthesia cream on wrist which is need to be applied for 1hr before cutting.. when i applied i felt like fading and i trid to handl myself and bymistek that cream went into my eye and mouth.. I felt like unconscious. And from last two days i was sleepy and i faild. The worst thing i think
So I got my beer on Thursday. It was cooers light so it wasn’t as strong as I wanted. Around midnight, I decided that I’m gonna see if I could commit suicide by train. Drunk, I walked to the railroad tracks then headed right down them, waiting for a train to come. My love was on the phone with me the entire time. I fell several times during all this. With no train in sight, I began sobering up enough to were I didn’t think I could go though with it and decided to go to my dads instead (which was on the way). I […]
It’s really hard to describe my feelings at the moment, and I don’t have a fucking clue what’s going on anymore.
Things have been a little better recently, I guess. I’m mainly just tired, which my mum keeps nagging me about, because I shouldn’t be this tired, apparently. Maybe I should just tell her that ‘tired’ means ‘sad’.
My best friend has gone on holiday for three weeks and it feels like she’s been gone too long already, when she left two days ago. She’s the only one that talks to me, so I feel pretty much alone.
I have a shit load of summer […]
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