I’m now at rock bottom and admit defeat!
My friend thinks I have post natal depression on top of bi polar and anxiety.
i can’t look after my babies properly, I’m exhausted from them both being up all night. I’m home alone all day with them, with 4 kids my house is a mess, dishes need washing, laundry need sorting but I can’t leave the babies as one climbs lots and the other screams. I’m lonely as my friends have older children and are studying or working, I fail as a mum , I’m really struggling and just don’t want to be here! Seriously what kinda mum am I ? Failing my kids 🙁
9 comments
How is struggling the same as failing them? If you see it that way you’ll end up feeding the feelings of defeat and despair. The fact that you’re trying is everything. That means you’re doing the exact opposite of failing.
Please try to change the way you’re thinking about it. It really will make things seem so much worse if you don’t challenge those kinds of thoughts. You can’t help but think them right now, but don’t take them as fact. They’re just the kind of thoughts you have when you’re depressed, and nothing more.
Is there anyone who could babysit from time to time so you could have a short break? It sounds like so much work and it sounds like you could do with some time where you don’t have to think about it.
Have you seen your OB/GYN about this?
I just feel I’m not being a good enough mum, I have no one to help me with the kids. I love my kids but I just feel I’m failing them by not going out i jjust sit there and cry most of the time and don’t interact with them any more. My husband works so I’m on my own most of the time, at weekends we just Seem to snap at each other. I feel it’s a competition of who’s more tired so I would rather him rest. I’ve lost my independence and my self esteem so leaving the house is overwhelming. I will do my best to see my gp this week as this big black hole I’m stuck in just feels deeper and deeper each day x
@dollydolls, it sounds like your friend could be right. I’m sorry things are difficult with your husband too. This is something a lot of people go through so I’m sure your GP will be able to offer some help. Hang in there, you’re not alone. You’ll get through this. 🙂
Any way you can leave the house and meet up with other sahm? There are a lot of mom’s and dad’s that absolutely feel just like you. Being a sahm is really hard and lonely.
Hey, being a mom isn’t easy. You’re trying, and having 4 isn’t exactly easy (honestly, i couldn’t deal with that). Do try your gp or a therapist, because your situation does seem pretty stressful (with your husband working all week and all). Like HDS says, being a sahm is a really hard, lonely, and might i had, underapreciated job.
Word.
What kind of mum are you? A normal one! One who is understandably overwhelmed with four kids to care for. One whose friends have time to criticize, but apparently no time to offer assistance. One who lives in a society where moms are isolated and often expected to do too much or be too perfect.
You might be depressed due to post-natal hormone changes, or you might be depressed simply because you need some support.
I promise you darling, you’re not failing your kids. Its hard enough to just have one by yourself, let alone four! If I knew you in real life, I would love to help you, so I’m sorry I cant. I hope things get less stressful.