Ive ditched cutting some time back but now ive picked up smoking haha. Well if its not one thing its another. Ive racked up some things to put me on the naughty list and while others are concerned how im going to handle them i find myself not really caring anymore. Even worse ive gotten into the habit of being a real clutz. At first it was just on accident but now they happen more frequently. I end up with scrapes, cuts and bruises that linger for a long time…but i kinda dont mind? Especially when cooking i used to be real careful but ive had a few burn incidents and minus the swelling from the water building up im really starting to get used to experiencing the pain. Like almost needing it in a sense.