I feel less suicidal, being nothing.
I am not a student, not an employee, not a daughter, not part of society. Not glum, not unattractive, not any other adjective.
I feel better when I am not obliged to fake emotions. I dont mind being alone anymore. Can I just float through the days, just for awhile?
Can I stop identifying myself as my experiences? Can I stop feeling ashamed for having not accomplished anything? Can I stop identifying as a human, and just wander through Time as nothing, just for a little while?
3 comments
For sure 😉
You should look into Zen, Buddhism and Taoism. they are ways of life that often encompass such things as meditating on nothingness. The whole idea of emptying oneself. It can be really good for a person to do that. So you are on to something that people have been practicing for thousands of years. Answer to your last part is YES.
I’ve been doing it for 17 years. It works for me.
You have a uterus. Unfortunately, people are going to try to define you by what you do with it. They will ask you if you have a man that puts seamen in your uterus. They will ask you if any small humans have vacated your uterus. Public officials will promote laws that restrict or encourage you to do certain things with your uterus. It’s all rather offensive when you think about it.
Personally, I could care less about what you do with your uterus. I wanted you to know that I understand that figuring out who you are *not*, as you seem to be doing, is no trivial task. Probably because there is way too much programming in our society that makes defining yourself more complicated than it should be.
Know that you never need permission to define yourself, regardless of what your parents say or People magazine says or uterus obsessed advocacy groups say.
…or undefine yourself.