so, i’m new here. (duh) i have had mental health issues since as far back as i can remember. (i am 30 years old) i never recieved any treatment for any of it until i was 16. between 16 and 18 i was in and out of the adolescent psych ward. as an adult i’ve been able to talk myself out of being placed inpatient all except for once. i’ve been in multiple programs (partial hospitalization programs, intensive outpatient programs, outpatient groups, –for an eating disorder and others for depression\anxiety– and of course individual therapy) and the groups helped…as long as i was in them. i was in treatment at an eating disorder facility from 2010 to like august or september of this year. (that’s where multiple php’s and outpatient groups and individual happened) my therapist there told me last time i saw him that he couldn’t help me anymore. that he is an eating disorder therapist not a depression therapist. he told me i could either just stop seeing him then or i could come back for one more session. (yeah, i really want to come back after you tell me you can’t help anymore) so i haven’t seen him since then. of course, this happened while i was already at one of my lowest points…or so i thought. i wasn’t seeing anyone for a while but things were just getting worse and worse. my bossat work pulled me into her office and talked to me because she was worried about some stuff i had posted on facebook. she asked if i was suicidal. i was honest and told her i was. we talked for a little bit and she wanted to know if she could look into finding a new therapist for me and i reluctantly agreed. she did find someone and i’ve seen her a couple times. still not too sure about it as i have a ton of trust issues and it takes me forever to really open up to people. i ended up quitting my job because it was making me more and more suicidal and depressed every day i was there. since i quit things have been a little better but not much. i pretty much lost the support of my boss, the only person that was actually trying to understand. she’s checked in once since i’ve left. i feel like a burden and a fool if i even think about contacting her first. anyway, where i was going with this post is that i saw the psychiatrist at the place where my new therapist is. she told me that she will have to staff me with the team to see if i can even be seen there. because of my “chronic suicidality” she wants me in a DBT group (even though i was in one for almost 9 months at the old place and it didn’t help with that at all) and they don’t offer that there. i just don’t understand how i am supposed to have any hope or belief that things will ever get any better if i even scare the professionals away?! i’m so tired of all this sh!t. makes me just want to say f*ck it and lie or sugarcoat things. why be honest when it just gets you pushed away?? this is supposed to be the one place where I can be honest. I scare everyone away. even professionals. why should I have hope that things will ever get better???? sorry if this was confusing or doesn’t make any sense. just trying to clear my mind out as this is all i can seem to think about anymore.
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Forgive me for saying this but your mental healthcare professionals are a bunch of asshats.
I’m so sorry you can’t get decent mental health care. There are few places in this world is seems where there is decent metal healthcare. I know I haven’t found anyone new since I moved to Texas. I hate sitting telling someone I don’t know how I feel. Doubly so now that I’m older.
Hang around here for a while and chat with all of us. You are guaranteed to find someone that is in the same boat as you. Plus no one wants to spend this week alone right? Well almost no one.
This is one of those reasons why i despise psychology (which is pretty ironic but… heh): it takes forever to find and actual decent professional that is willing to work with you and stand by you. I mean, saying to a patient “i can’t treat you anymore” is the responsible thing to do, but there’s ways to approach it, and referrals should be mandatory, because otherwise, you’re living the person hanging with no support line.
I remember back when i attempted and ended up on the hospital, my mom asked her psych if she could take me in her clinic. She said “no, because he’s just made an attempt so i can’t”… sure, i get where she’s coming from but, a) you could at least evaluate the patient, b)… DUH if i wasn’t suicidal why the hell would i need to see you in the first place?
Seriously, if i end up graduating and i end up such an idiot… i’ll kick my own ass. Feel free to post all you want and comment on people’s posts too. Do keep in mind, there’s still good psychs out there, but it does take time to find them.
Why on earth would a Dr. refuse to treat someone who just attempted to kill themselves. That is utter bullshit.
Just a wild guess, but it might be due to the high risk of a re-attempt. For some psychs it’s just a career/business after all. Can’t blame them because… heh, they see tons of people everyday, but yeah, it’s a pretty crappy way to proceed. Needless to say, my mom stopped seeing her right away.
What price humanity.
Tree fiddy.
yeah…that’s over priced for some of these fucked up jokers that call themselves Drs.
I can say one thing without a doubt right away:
You are heard. We hear you.
It’s very unfortunate the circumstances you’re in – and I’m very, very sorry to hear. If you want to talk to anyone here, just strike up the conversation. No need to be afraid!
Anyways, I’m with Hazy here, they truly are a bunch of asshats. A good place to start?
A lifeline, actually. Or a hotline. Suicide hotline to be exact!
If that doesn’t work for you, just ask for a new provider (psychiatrist in this case) because you don’t feel comfortable with this one and you don’t feel like your needs are being met.
It’s a try, try again game, my friend.
You’ve gotta find what works best for you. The right puzzle piece, you know?
We’re all either enigmas or too simple to fix. For some of us, it’s one thing and we’re off. For others, well, not so much. And you, I believe, are an enigma, a puzzle piece with a thousand rows to match, but fear not – we’re closer than you think!
If you hang in there and fight through it, then you deserve a damn break. So what if you’re weak for a day or a week? Use that time to recover. Gather yourself again. Do what you need to do to help yourself. Heal.
You have got this.
The have ethical guidelines. Their insurance coverage is probably tired into their ethical guidelines. And probably the rules they have to follow wouldn’t make sense to a layman. And and and, of course, it’s just a job. They aren’t rescuers.
But regardless, the whole profession deserves criticism if they can’t explain this to people. A couple of months back when the CBT therapist I had chosen turned me down, she was incredibly nice but even she failed to articulate *why* she couldn’t treat me.
My dad said the strangest thing to me last week. He’s been fading in and out of cognitive impairment for a while now, and in one of his more lucid moments he was reminiscing about about the community mental health center he founded in the 70s. He was, justifiably, proud of what he did and we were ruminating on the impact he had on that section of town, when he said, “I broke alot if laws getting those people help.”
I tried to get him to back up and explain but he was gone to someplace else by then. Was he cooking the numbers on the grant proposals? Stealing antipsychotics from Walgreen’s? Or bending those ethical guidelines?
Also, I hate intake forms. I hate therapists that ask you in the first session the same questions that are already answered on the intake form. I hate tiny boxes that you are expected to cram 100 words into.
There is something wrong in this world when people who get paid to treat the lonely depressed manic crazy masses aren’t saviors.
There is something wrong in this world when you have an excess of lonely depressed manic crazy people.
Hazy, you and I won’t live to see it, but you know, soon, the number one killer for all age groups will eventually be suicide.
How sad.
I thought the #1 killer for all age groups was life itself.
They tell me that life itself is a chronic condition.
Yes Morris, it is terminal.
@Hazy; Then I suppose we should have a good time before the inevitable arrives.
I’ll bring whiskey, weed and music.
You bring the girls, k?
LOL. Sure thing. Do they need to be human or can I just bring a hive of bees and my two hens?
If the hens are wearing lipstick and they have nice teeth I won’t complain.
(No guy would. Who says no to an attractive hen)?
The bees might be a deal-breaker though.
Most likely bending ethical guidelines. I’ve had a few lectures on that in class, and i often disagree with many of those. In the end a psych job is just adapting the individual to whatever guidelines their surrounding society has so they can fit in and be productive. Sure, it doesn’t matter if the person wants to blow his brains out if he can be productive and have coping strategies to help him “go through the daily motions”. I find that pretty nauseating.
Even when i look around in my class, i see most of my mates and i often wonder what the hell they’re doing in there. Close minded, judgmental, impolite people have no business there (imho). Makes me wonder why some careers don’t have some sort of screening based on personality trails. Sure, some would fake the hell out of it to cheat the system, but at least there would be some kind of moderation.
Oh, and i forgot to mention: my country practices neoliberalism. Even pension funds are privatized. That alone makes 2/3rds of the population want to blow their brains out (and they even don’t know the underlying reason of it).
@Mf; Today was a major crisis aversion day for me.
The Bigsby tremolo arm went limp. Floppin’ in the wind, man.
I tightened the tremolo arm nut and changed the strings. That’s all it took.
🙂 Change the strings and tighten the nut.
I shouldn’t be on a suicide site. Gretsch and I made beautiful music together today.
Life is good.
Wanna form a band?
We can call ourselves ‘Tarantula Pudding’.
@Morris: I used to have a guitar with a tremolo bridge, and i got rid of it just because of what you mention, didn’t need the extra worries other than the occasional broken string (i always keep an extra set just in case). That said, i envy you, i haven’t been able to play in days (i think it’s been almost a week). Since tomorrow is christmas i might as well play for a while to drown the annoying carols.
You might want to look into that tremolo arm tho. Going limp in the middle of it ain’t cool, haha.
(hey, you’ve been forming that fictional band for almost a year now 😛 )
@Mf; We need you in the band.
You can sing or play tambourine, I don’t care.
You’re right about the Bigsby too. Some call it a vibrato. Love it, pain in the ass. I spent most of today fixing it. $
That’s my life. Fixing guitar problems require all of my waking hours. 🙂 (Fucking 1st world problems).
No, but seriously. The Gretsch sounds great again.