Back in the caveman days? Dearie, this stuff still goes on to this day. There are some cultures (I was born in overseas) and this very typical. Women are taught to be self-deprecating, and to never accept a compliment. To do so would say that you are conceited and full of it, and people wouldn’t view you well. Women *had* to put themselves down, and say things like “no, it was nothing,” “it wasn’t a big deal,” “oh I didn’t do very much” etc. We were never allowed to just accept a compliment, or to talk well about our skills or accomplishments, because that was seen as “boastful.”
I wish I could explain myself better, but oh well. Not going to apologize lol
You are right. It happens with men too, but it’s typically targeted towards women- worldwide. It happens more in other countries, but I see this here in the United States too. Why is it that women are not “allowed” to take compliments and talk about her accomplishments without people viewing her as conceited or cocky?
If a man does something, it’s called “taking charge.” When a women does the same thing, it’s seen as “bossy.”
That invalidating of compliments got me so upset at times. “you never say anything nice to me!” was such a regular line, which turned into “you liar!” whenever i complimented a woman in an honest way *sigh*. I guess i’m going to print out this comic strip and hand it out whenever i engage conversation with a woman from now on.
I don’t say thank you as it will prob make me sound patronizing. And when people barely tolerate you it wouldn’t matter. I bet they’d be thinking ‘thank you? I barely tolerate you. How dare you!’
I am always saying sorry to show that i try to emphasize with the other person. Even though sorry wont cut it. Saying thank you kinda makes me feel like a king in his throne, as if I want power… I’d rather say sorry for wasting your time. Then I’ll just look like an attention seeker. What’s the point?!
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^_^ Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for sharing! ^_^
Back in the caveman days, most all women were taught to invalidate any compliments they were given. Drove me crazy.
There must be half a zillion subtle verbal things we do to put ourselves down, discourage help, and deflect praise.
Saying thank you over sorry = excellent idea!
Back in the caveman days? Dearie, this stuff still goes on to this day. There are some cultures (I was born in overseas) and this very typical. Women are taught to be self-deprecating, and to never accept a compliment. To do so would say that you are conceited and full of it, and people wouldn’t view you well. Women *had* to put themselves down, and say things like “no, it was nothing,” “it wasn’t a big deal,” “oh I didn’t do very much” etc. We were never allowed to just accept a compliment, or to talk well about our skills or accomplishments, because that was seen as “boastful.”
I wish I could explain myself better, but oh well. Not going to apologize lol
You are right. It happens with men too, but it’s typically targeted towards women- worldwide. It happens more in other countries, but I see this here in the United States too. Why is it that women are not “allowed” to take compliments and talk about her accomplishments without people viewing her as conceited or cocky?
If a man does something, it’s called “taking charge.” When a women does the same thing, it’s seen as “bossy.”
Well I digress…
Like Japan
And China. And India. And all of the Middle East. Sigh. Why are women always “second-class”?
I have a lot of reasons that aren’t for mixed company. *insert sad trombone here*
That invalidating of compliments got me so upset at times. “you never say anything nice to me!” was such a regular line, which turned into “you liar!” whenever i complimented a woman in an honest way *sigh*. I guess i’m going to print out this comic strip and hand it out whenever i engage conversation with a woman from now on.
Best thing I ever learned to say was thank you. Took 45 years to master.
Thanks for sharing this! I’ve bookmarked that article!
“Unless you’re Canadian, you’re not doing anyone any favors by saying ‘sorry’ all the time”. – Linked article.
Bro… That’s how wars start.
I am Canadian and I’m sticking to the Sorry. It works over here 🙂
I don’t say thank you as it will prob make me sound patronizing. And when people barely tolerate you it wouldn’t matter. I bet they’d be thinking ‘thank you? I barely tolerate you. How dare you!’
I am always saying sorry to show that i try to emphasize with the other person. Even though sorry wont cut it. Saying thank you kinda makes me feel like a king in his throne, as if I want power… I’d rather say sorry for wasting your time. Then I’ll just look like an attention seeker. What’s the point?!
Don’t read my dribble please
Nope too late I read it and it isn’t dribble.