Please stop cutting. We dont want you hurting yourself like that. Are you OK? You probably need to bandage that up or have it looked at. If you need somebody to talk to there are a lot of good people here on the SP forum to chat with. DO you have a therapist or a psychiatrist you can talk to.??
Emotional pain. I fucking hate it. I want it to be physical instead, and I want to see blood. I’m bleeding out right now, sitting on my bedroom floor. I can hear people talking in the other room. I can’t even stop.
I’ve never cut. From what others have said, I understood that the physical cutting RELIEVED the emotional pain. If you aren’t getting relief from the emotional pain after that many cuts, I do have a suggestion for you. You asked “What do I have to do then?”
I would like for you to get in touch with something beautiful in nature. Ideally you can go outside and become connected with nature – sun, wind, rain, trees, flowers, birds. I sometimes forget that these experiences bring calm and peace to me. If I’m having a particularly difficult time, I pause and look around at natural beauty.
If you’re inside, just look out a window and find any speck of wonder. It’s there. We just don’t look there very often.
@ylem: How are you doing today? If the cutting isn’t helping it may be best to stop and put some clean dry bandages on the wounds. I’m not against cutting if it helps to relieve stress and helps, but it isn’t really a coping mechanism if it isn’t helping at all. At best it is a rather poor coping mechanism, but who am I to judge, being the lady with hamburger fingers. Take care. I’m thinking of doing a watercolor for you. It would be abstract, because you are abstract in my mind. A bright abstraction. Be gentle on yourself.
I’ve stopped. I think I know what got me in this head space. I was studying MDD and Bipolar disorder today. Starting my psch rotation tomorrow. It is messing with my head, and I’ve just realised again how much of a fucking moron I am. I got more depressed last year when I was doing Mental Health, and I’m starting with it this year. It will be the longest 6 weeks of my life, starting tomorrow. It’s too late to ask for a switch.
I went for a walk by myself to try and calm myself down. It turned out disastrous. I almost had a meltdown. I had to run back home because I thought I was being followed. PTSD doesn’t want to let me go. The moment I got back, I just started slashing away at my thigh, but it didn’t make me feel better. I kept thinking, just one more, but nothing.
I’ve stopped though, but I still feel like shit. I’ve just stopped studying altogether.
I look forward to seeing that watercolor if you decide to do it.
Thanks Hazy. It’s always nice reading your supportive comments. I wish I had a mother like you.
Rainy day today. Not much to see. But, I did go for a walk before I started cutting. It was a trigger.
When I look out the window, I just see a dark and gloomy day. Makes me more depressed.
But, when I look at my 5 year old sister, I see beauty and a bundle of joy. I see life. I asked her to sing for me. She has the cutest voice ever that never fails to make me smile.
Thank you for the help StayOrGo.
19 comments
Please stop cutting. We dont want you hurting yourself like that. Are you OK? You probably need to bandage that up or have it looked at. If you need somebody to talk to there are a lot of good people here on the SP forum to chat with. DO you have a therapist or a psychiatrist you can talk to.??
Is it the pain or the loss of blood that drives you to cut? I’m just curious as I’ve never done it myself. I’ve seen plenty with scars though.
Emotional pain. I fucking hate it. I want it to be physical instead, and I want to see blood. I’m bleeding out right now, sitting on my bedroom floor. I can hear people talking in the other room. I can’t even stop.
Chuck on the telly
I couldn’t deal with the constant reminders, I struggle forgetting the past as it is.
I still feel like making more… Oops, just made 20 more cuts.
Plus although I hate myself like most on here, I take care of my physical body.
Please keep that to yourself. It’s no different than talk of suicide methods. People are here for help.
Sorry, didn’t mean to offend anyone… I’m gonna slip away into the shadows with my blade now 🙂
I know you didn’t, it’s just one of those things. Monkey see monkey do so to speak. We don’t want to put ideas into each other’s heads.
I hope you feel better i understand how you feel though that amount of cutting is extremely dangerous. I hope nothing gets infected.
I’ve never cut. From what others have said, I understood that the physical cutting RELIEVED the emotional pain. If you aren’t getting relief from the emotional pain after that many cuts, I do have a suggestion for you. You asked “What do I have to do then?”
I would like for you to get in touch with something beautiful in nature. Ideally you can go outside and become connected with nature – sun, wind, rain, trees, flowers, birds. I sometimes forget that these experiences bring calm and peace to me. If I’m having a particularly difficult time, I pause and look around at natural beauty.
If you’re inside, just look out a window and find any speck of wonder. It’s there. We just don’t look there very often.
@ylem: How are you doing today? If the cutting isn’t helping it may be best to stop and put some clean dry bandages on the wounds. I’m not against cutting if it helps to relieve stress and helps, but it isn’t really a coping mechanism if it isn’t helping at all. At best it is a rather poor coping mechanism, but who am I to judge, being the lady with hamburger fingers. Take care. I’m thinking of doing a watercolor for you. It would be abstract, because you are abstract in my mind. A bright abstraction. Be gentle on yourself.
hamburger fingers…the image of a woman with five hamburgers for fingers just came into my mind…LOL 😛
arghh woman, now i’m craving for a burger… O_o
I’ve stopped. I think I know what got me in this head space. I was studying MDD and Bipolar disorder today. Starting my psch rotation tomorrow. It is messing with my head, and I’ve just realised again how much of a fucking moron I am. I got more depressed last year when I was doing Mental Health, and I’m starting with it this year. It will be the longest 6 weeks of my life, starting tomorrow. It’s too late to ask for a switch.
I went for a walk by myself to try and calm myself down. It turned out disastrous. I almost had a meltdown. I had to run back home because I thought I was being followed. PTSD doesn’t want to let me go. The moment I got back, I just started slashing away at my thigh, but it didn’t make me feel better. I kept thinking, just one more, but nothing.
I’ve stopped though, but I still feel like shit. I’ve just stopped studying altogether.
I look forward to seeing that watercolor if you decide to do it.
Thanks Hazy. It’s always nice reading your supportive comments. I wish I had a mother like you.
I wish I had a other like me too. But if I had you’d have never met me because I would have needed you folks. It would have been my loss though.
Rainy day today. Not much to see. But, I did go for a walk before I started cutting. It was a trigger.
When I look out the window, I just see a dark and gloomy day. Makes me more depressed.
But, when I look at my 5 year old sister, I see beauty and a bundle of joy. I see life. I asked her to sing for me. She has the cutest voice ever that never fails to make me smile.
Thank you for the help StayOrGo.
You Are Loved. Never forget.
I only have one request for you;
Please just smile as hard as possible for 1 whole minute. Please try this, it really helps