A year ago I had a best friend who was gay she was the best, but then she transferred schools but before that we had this huge argument and I was convinced that I was just disgusted at her because she was gay but truthfully I think I was in love with her and felt disgusted with myself I kept denying who I was and doing a bunch of just stupid shit I wish I could take back but I can’t. And today I tried to move forward by coming out I called or texted my friends to tell them, then posted online, but I guess she saw it and I thought she was going to just rip me apart but she had nothing but support. I don’t deserve these people in my life not with all the other shit I have on me.
@sportsnut I wouldn’t know what to say I fucked her up made her depressed she started cutting and other shit from what I’ve heard and I’m the one who pushed her in that direction. How the hell do I live with myself knowing that I’m the one that did that to her and she’s still trying to help me? I’d rather she start yelling or call me out for what I did her being nice just crushes me how’d I do that to someone so good and innocent?
we all make a lot of rotten choices.. its part of life.. especially with people like us.. just take one day at a time.. sounds like u had a positive day.. and u have a new friend here too
i totally understand just try to be as honest as possible which i know isnt easy.. but i can tell you i have wanted to die for the last 4 months, everyday in a row… so i came on here and since then something has happened that has absolutely changed my life… things can change quick..
You know what I’ll call her tomorrow and set something up and if it all goes to shit at the very least I can say I tried to make my life less shitty. Thank you all of you
21 comments
hi… can we talk…
sure I need someone to talk to honestly.
sorry just got your reply are u still there
Yeah still here
ok im glad.. you can talk to me about anything..i dont judge
A year ago I had a best friend who was gay she was the best, but then she transferred schools but before that we had this huge argument and I was convinced that I was just disgusted at her because she was gay but truthfully I think I was in love with her and felt disgusted with myself I kept denying who I was and doing a bunch of just stupid shit I wish I could take back but I can’t. And today I tried to move forward by coming out I called or texted my friends to tell them, then posted online, but I guess she saw it and I thought she was going to just rip me apart but she had nothing but support. I don’t deserve these people in my life not with all the other shit I have on me.
I’m sorry
@Not intrested in life. Thanks but you don’t need to apologize.
so you got to talk to her
@sportsnut I wouldn’t know what to say I fucked her up made her depressed she started cutting and other shit from what I’ve heard and I’m the one who pushed her in that direction. How the hell do I live with myself knowing that I’m the one that did that to her and she’s still trying to help me? I’d rather she start yelling or call me out for what I did her being nice just crushes me how’d I do that to someone so good and innocent?
we all make a lot of rotten choices.. its part of life.. especially with people like us.. just take one day at a time.. sounds like u had a positive day.. and u have a new friend here too
I want to talk to her and I know I will I just don’t know if I can look her in the eyes.
i totally understand just try to be as honest as possible which i know isnt easy.. but i can tell you i have wanted to die for the last 4 months, everyday in a row… so i came on here and since then something has happened that has absolutely changed my life… things can change quick..
You know what I’ll call her tomorrow and set something up and if it all goes to shit at the very least I can say I tried to make my life less shitty. Thank you all of you
thats so brave.. stay in touch
Of course and hey If you ever need me I’ll be around
i am grateful for that
are you going to off yourself please don’t please stay here sorry if i sound selfish
nope, thanks for caring though I have a few things i need to do before i decide if my life is worth living.
I’m glad tonight was not the night. 🙂
Thank you for staying!
Thanks that’s much appreciated