Hi guys. It’s been a while since I was last here.
It’s 8:16pm and I’ve been at work for over 13 hours. My concentration is fizzing. I’m trying to get these drafts out before tomorrow, but I’m fighting the familiar thoughts again.
I feel like I have so much to tell everyone about what happened in the time I was gone from this forum, but I don’t have the energy right now.
I’m contemplating leaving now and coming back early tomorrow to finish this off before work starts. I’m not being very productive anyway.
At the same time, I find myself thinking “If I’m going to do this, why should I even care if I finish this job or not?”, but I put my survival chances for this week at 95%; up 10% from last week.
I did try to tape a plastic bag over my head at some point last week, but didn’t follow through.
Fuck it. I’m done here. I’m going home. My mind just won’t work. Guess I’ll be getting up at 5:30 tomorrow.
I was thinking earlier today that over the past year, I’ve subconsciously put myself in the best possible position in life, but now I hate myself for it.