The same problems from my family are the same , problems with my in laws are the same . I want to cut but I want to cut so deep I bleed out I know my wrist won’t work I want to slit my throat. my phone is a jinx and broke again so my husband went to get me a new one he asked me if I want to go I can’t my in laws are coming back in town so I have to clean . while he walked out my head said no don’t go if you do I will kill my self […]
Spotted this in a shop window. Sums up the inside of my head most days. Sorry its sideways. Have a good day sp. Love to u all.
Had doctor appointment today.
Got the Amitryptaline increased from 75 to 100.
The doctor did the usual cover-your-butt questions, including “Have you had any suicidal thoughts?”
I shook my head as if to say “No, of course not, what a silly thing to ask.”
Because only a fool would say “As a matter of fact, YES! Hahahha! Funny you should mention that! I was just waiting for you to ask! Here’s a song I wrote that I’d like played at my funeral! Do you like it? Does it need more cello?”
Hello. Im at school right now. I should be studying but I’ve got to decompress first. I don’t think people want me atound. I don’t feel well. Do you ever wish you could stick your hand inside your head and rip out the things you don’t like about yourself? I would like to rip out the thing inside my head that makes me feel weird when around others. I wish I could stop caring. I don’t feel well. I don’t want it anymore. Back to studying. Thanks for listening.
I’m so sick of living my life
I’m so sick of hating myself.. I just want to be in peace.
So hopefully soon the voices inside my head will shut the fck up
Heh, I can’t even write anymore. One thought seems to take a minute now. My thoughts and actions are as fast as a 100-year-old when I’m only a quarter that age…
Oh well, never understood the point of living, to be honest. All these feelings and sensations are just symbols of vanity to my apathetic mind. Besides, I don’t really give a damn if the next president is a woman or Neo-Hitler. Although, it will be much easier to get rid of this Hitler compared to the first one. Humanity will destroy itself regardless of method. That is their fate. Unless humanity can develop something to […]
I’ve been lying to everyone about how good im doing in school and that ill be graduating in two weeks and have all these great plans for the future and that me and my bf are happy and i have jobs lined up and everything they expect to here.
But im not doing well in school at all. Im failing four classes so i wont be graduating. Im not going back to school and i have no jobs lined up, havent even looked into it. Ill be moving in a month but i have no house situation prepared. And i dont think me and […]
Hiya, hope everyone is doing ok today? And if not well, lets hope ur just doing…
I just finished work and after much soul searching have decided there is NOthing I can do about how others perceive me. I spent the last 18 or so hours wondering if my comments here on SP were good enough, closely followed by some things I said to work colleagues, and then the finalie was wondering why my fcuk face alcoholic father hasnt responded to calls or texts from me, after we not spoken for like 4 years. It’s retarded that I hate him yet for the […]
I’m so tired. My body is so tired, I can feel it. I’ve feeling nauseous all the time and my muscles feel sore. I can’t wake up without feeling I’ll throw up. My sight is getting blurry and my head hurts like hell. It’s getting harder to move. It’s getting harder to breathe.
It’s like my body is giving up on me.
Please, not yet. Please. You promised me.
Hay guys how’s r things going I haven’t been here in a wile been trying to keep busy just checking up on u guy
i can’t remember all the names
cordless
alan
darktide
phanton the names I no of the top of my head how is everyone doing ?
I was contemplating suicide, it still exists in the back of my head. A lot of days I have to fight with myself to keep me from cutting myself. The cutting would silence the voices in my head. Sometimes I think I was doing the cutting as practice for cutting my wrists. Every night I wish it to be my last night breathing. I pray to God every night that he will make it my last. Now on Sundays when I go up for communion I ask God to end this life I call living hell. The only good thing about going to work is […]
I’m heading on towards the future and I’m being told to start thinking about my future. The scary part is, though, I don’t see myself having one. I try to think about it, me going to college, having a job, meeting someone special. But I just can’t see it. I’m so scared because everyone around me is figuring things out, and I don’t know if I even want to live ’til the end of high school. My chest tightens up, my head starts hurting, everything gets a bit fuzzy, and my head becomes an empty void. Is this just me?
I don’t even know how to […]
i get deja vu so often i don’t know what’s real and it makes me panic. my head is all messed up and tied in knots and i can’t stop thinking about how this isn’t real, this is all fake somehow, i’m fake, and it makes me suicidal. i want to feel real again i haven’t felt really real in so long it makes me sick. i’m panicking right now and i don’t know what to do anymore just that i want to stop pretending to exist
It’s strange. Just some minutes ago I was feeling numb and empty and now my feelings are taking me down. I stare out of the window asking myself “Well, would those stones really kill me if I jumped with my head ahead on them?” Then my other voice decides for me: “Too risky, the chance of surviving and end up in a clinic with everyone thinking you’re mad and idiotic and eventually leaving you too is just WAY too high…” Wow. My mind sure knows how things work and what makes me feel better again. Not.
I’m in this I-hate-myself-can’t-do-anything-anymore-but-being-depressed-I-just-wanna-die mood again, if you know […]
Going in for a test tomorrow. Dont think I will sleep tonight.
I wish I could just turn my head off.
im completely out of my mind.
This is the first time im serious about swallowing a whole bottle of fucking pills. My head hurts and my moms pissing me the fuck off. Someone contact me i need someone.
I swear my head feels like the fucking bomb in Enola Gay…
I got buried in over my head in appointments, deadlines and the likes during these last few weeks.
Coupled with that never-ending nostalgia feeling, it gives me sudden sharp pains in my temples.
I was literally one step away from having a complete mental breakdown today. I woke up, and as soon as I noticed the dawning sun on the early morning sky, I started crying… Instantly. I bashed my head against the bed several times until I spent the only bit of energy I had at the moment and just stayed like that for a […]
Should I stay or should I go? If you love someone but you are causing them harm mentally should you stay? Even if you two love each other? This decision is killing me. Everyone that im around I effect in a negative way. My emotions are to strong. When im depressed and dont eat others around me do everything in their power to cheer me up and when that fails they go from understanding to being annoyed at me. It makes me feel like shit. Even right now, sitting among a friend watching Bobs Burgers for the first time Im trying not to freak out. […]
What do you say to comfort someone that recently lost someone in their family?
Not just by suicide, but by all types of death. No one I know has lost someone recently, but this question has been floating around my head, and I don’t believe in coincidences.
I’ve never lost anyone, so I have no clue what to say
I am a person who needs a lot of guidece.
I’m reading a book by Gandhi.
I’m reading a red letter edition of the NIV Bible.
I’m keeping a journal and I write whatever comes to my mind and tear out what I don’t like.
I often just nod or shake my head when I’m asked a question.
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