Among the list: I’m going to church tomorrow. My therapist thinks that getting back into the habit of going might help me stop seeing D. But after seven years of seeing D, I doubt he’ll ever go away. Why try? Just makes him more angry. More persistent.
And I’m too dirty to be in God’s House anyway. I’m too far gone for Him to reclaim. I’m just fire kindling. And something about me has always suspected that I was, I think.
Every time someone tries to convince me that I’m not meant to burn, I believe them. I really do! They end up convincing me and I believe them. But that only lasts for a little while, before I forget the things they told me, and that sinking dread creeps back into my chest like a fox back into a hen house after the farmer’s gone to bed. Never fails. Never never never.
oh by the way also.. I wanted to tell you that you are super smart.. you idea are well thought out and incredibly articulated.. not for a 17 year old, but for anyone.. I am astounded in a good way by many of the things you say
Wow, thanks. I appreciate compliments like that, even if I don’t know how to handle them.
Kind of like when I’m playing with my dog and he gets so happy that he runs away from me. That’s how I react to compliments. Get so happy that I run away and hide.
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Why hopeless kat?
Just everything.
Among the list: I’m going to church tomorrow. My therapist thinks that getting back into the habit of going might help me stop seeing D. But after seven years of seeing D, I doubt he’ll ever go away. Why try? Just makes him more angry. More persistent.
And I’m too dirty to be in God’s House anyway. I’m too far gone for Him to reclaim. I’m just fire kindling. And something about me has always suspected that I was, I think.
Every time someone tries to convince me that I’m not meant to burn, I believe them. I really do! They end up convincing me and I believe them. But that only lasts for a little while, before I forget the things they told me, and that sinking dread creeps back into my chest like a fox back into a hen house after the farmer’s gone to bed. Never fails. Never never never.
I don’t know. Just ignore everything I just said. Im a total idiot.
hey sis..you are already His..
I wanna believe you.
oh by the way also.. I wanted to tell you that you are super smart.. you idea are well thought out and incredibly articulated.. not for a 17 year old, but for anyone.. I am astounded in a good way by many of the things you say
danged auto correct.. your ideas
Wow, thanks. I appreciate compliments like that, even if I don’t know how to handle them.
Kind of like when I’m playing with my dog and he gets so happy that he runs away from me. That’s how I react to compliments. Get so happy that I run away and hide.
God loves dirty birds Whskered, especially our God.