Just now getting the chance to read your comments and they were very very beneficial to my circumstances, I feel that I need to do it for some reason. I guess to prove a point that just resulted in me throwing up in two of my classes. This website has been a safety net for me since I first found it, even though I just started posting on it. Ive been up here for a while, just lurking in the shadows but it feels like I actuallly have a voice and people take the time to listen to what I have to say. Even though […]
I find myself back here again. It had been a while, and I had been happy for the first time since childhood. But now, here I am again, and the loneliness, and the feelings of the inability to connect with people that I’ve spent so much wonderful time with, the social anxiety as I fumble and stumble over my own words and just sigh in exasperation in my self involvement. I hate my narcissism. Talking about myself disgusts me, and I find it very saddening. I had gone on a date tonight. She and I had had wonderful dates before, but tonight, I felt the […]
welk crap, filled out a great page on my death, and it erased. so i guess goodby is good enough and youll each now how I felt.
I’m gone now. No fear, no pain, I’m doing it right. Lost everything and nothing left to lose. Gracias port mi vide, peso el was much mal
I was bullied since elementary school,because im ugly,i’ve got a big nose and people make fun of it and I really hate it. I wanted to get a job so I could have a rhino plasty,but I didn’t get the job I wanted and other jobs are not really fit for me. All of my friends have a good life,have boyfriends and I got nothing,only my big nose. I hate myself and I feel like im not worth it. I feel like I can’t do this anymore, I tried to talk to my sister about rhino plasty but she said I souldn’t care what other […]
I’m so sick of living my life
I’m so sick of hating myself.. I just want to be in peace.
So hopefully soon the voices inside my head will shut the fck up
I can’t go on living this life anymore. But I also can’t leave. If I died, no one would miss me, but then my parents would divorce. They already were going to when I went off to college. I’d just be speeding up the process, but if that happened, I don’t know how my dad would live. He doesn’t have a great job, no one to live with, and I’m worried. My mom has people to go to and can earn enough money. But there is also the chance that she might commit suicide as well.
All I want is an escape from this world. Is […]
I’m pulling the plug in 9 days and to be honest, not entirely regretting it. This is the first time I’ve had control over anything and it’s nice. I mean, it sucks, but in the end, maybe this is for the best. For me. For everyone . Because this is not a disease. This is a result of just not feeling anything but pain. Pain that no one should have to endure.
I searched for 6 years for someone who cared. It took me maybe a month to drive her away. If I could just have one thing before I die, I just want to hear […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I diagnosed myself to be a schizoid, but due to self-diagnosis, people may laugh it off, but I know myself very well.
I have no desire to live, or to die. I see no real meaning to continue living. Everyone has to die, isn’t it? It also seems to be the quicker way to get rid of the boredom I have had all my life. Though my circumstances are just as bad as any other suicidal person, I have no real emotional attachment to anything in life. I live alone in Japan, though I was not raised here, hence I don’t even speak japanese.
There is no […]
I breathe, I cry, I disappear,
breathless, stoic, forever here,
heart echoing, thundering,
cold and scared
I swear it’s living
I swear it’s beating
I swear it’s working
I swear, I swear, I swear,
if it hurts, it’s there
it is and has to be
an ache isn’t where it used to be
just give me time
and why and where
I’ll be good
I’ll be better
I’ll be fine
I swear, I swear, I swear,
I don’t want to try and fight this shit anymore. Its funny because this thought never goes away. It lessens. Well today its a little stronger than normal. Its been building. Festering probably going to morph into an alternative better version of me. The sad thing is that I doubt anyone would be able to tell the difference. They would like “her” more. I’m being consumed by my own demons. I gave up on trying to fight them long ago. I’m fucked for however long I live. I’m stuck living, failed at taking my life and a whole bunch of other shit. I can’t even […]
Everything in my life is gone. My partner, my friends and my work. Life is not really worth living. I feel so much pain, anxiety and will not living. I feel the end is near. I had it all and lost it all.
woild be nice to chat now and again support each other get to no Each other more help each other though the rough dark lonely nights i know it’s a living hell battling everyday but guy your a totally welcome to my email me any time if u got a problem need advice or some to unload of we can all help each other indigojones5@gmaildotcom
buenos noches love and light stay strong (hugs) hi5 il been on in a new days or so
Honestly, I’m just a stupid teenage girl who still has highschool to get through. I need to put on my big girl pants and just get through it. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to be happy.
Suicide. I’ve thought about it, but I’ve always been too much a wimp to really try and end my life. In my opinion, the only scary part of trying to attempt suicide, is if you survive. But then again, that means you are alive for a reason. Maybe I’m scared because I have this hope that everything will be okay.
People say that […]
I’m tired of depression. It is all i know. I have no connection to anything. I want to die. Im tired of wanting to die but constantly living. Im tired of my brain. I’m tired of my loneliness. Im tired of inexplicably having everything i do here moderated. Im tired of having no identity or ability identify with anyone. I’m tired of being ugly. I’m tired of being fat. Im tired of whining. I’m tired of being tired. I’m tired of breathing. Im tired of annoying you all.
This is just a repeat of my usual tedious bullshit.
I don’t think I have it in me to live a worthwhile life. I can’t connect with anyone. Not really. The best I can do is to fake it (some of the time.) It stops me from ever really enjoying the moment. No matter where I go or what I do, I’m always dragging around this barrier in my mind, distancing me from everything.
So my life, in itself, is not worth living. I can’t be one of the happy, successful, functional people. No fun social life, no real friends, no partner, no kids, no fulfilling career […]
Hey everybody how your morning so far .?
So I was sitting in cab going to a mall and I was playing spot the murder, rapist or pedo with myself. When I seen two kids running across the street laughing and man in his late 20s early 30s was just starring at them . At first I was like he’s a rapy pedo 12 points. But then when we drove past him and I got a good look at his face. There was Agony and sadness in his eyes. He was wishing to be young happy and laughing and not living the life he has . it […]
I hate the feeling I’m never living up to my full potential. My search for my gift haunts me. I excel in everything I do but at the end feeling unsuccessful, wanting more. What is my gift already, I should be more.
Watched the film legend was an ok film I guess the only part I liked was when he’s girl friend commit suicide I thought I wish it was that easy to to I envy people that succeed
I feel life isn’t for everyone and I’m one of them people how can you enjoy life if all u no is pain suffering heartbreak and self destruction ? It’s not fun there no enjoyment here live life if only they knew it’s survival there a big difference
how can u think positive if u living in darkness were the light in the dark ?