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today!

The long awaited day has arrived, i’m ready to do it!
with no regrets, maybe a lot of unachieved and unfulfilled dream but that’s okay.

sorry Mama, i wish i was a good son, sorry for breaking your heart you are working all the time to afford me college i really appreciate it.
father, despite of everything i know you love me and i wish i were the son that you wanted but i can’t go on anymore.
my lil sis!!! 🙂 it’s gonna be okay! don’t worry, and i’m sure that Caroline loves you! i’m sorry because i couldn’t be that brother who you could ask him for help or tell him a secret. sorry for being so cold with you all the time.
shady, my cousin sorry if i let you down. i couldn’t tell you cause you wouldn’t understand! good luck my friend with all of your dreams! hope you could make it and travel where you want and get out of this hell.

Thanks Avicii, your music has always been there for me. it was a dream to be in one of your concerts!
though i feel good because it’s all about to end, but those ideas about death, loneliness, depression and possibilities in life i still cant stop thinking about a lot of things.
like am i here because i want to here or it’s just my choices and my ideas in life that leaded me to such a situation?
it’s better to do not think about it, just do it!
Good Luck everyone.

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5 comments

Cold_Sleep 5/13/2016 - 9:27 am

good luck and farewell

HERE4UOK 5/13/2016 - 10:24 am

@birds-will-sing-if-we-fall
I love the picture your alias brings to my mind 🙂
But birds, I am here typing away wishing you still have it in you to reach out to me. Let’s have a chat. If it all will end today, what have you got to lose? Hit me up! suesyd . nomore (at) g mai l (dot) co m
I promise I won’t impose, or try senselessly talking you out of your decision. Just chat.

Hazy Day Sunflower 5/13/2016 - 10:39 am

I won’t say farewell. I’ll say don’t do this. Give yourself breathing room. A few days talking to the folks here. Death isn’t going anywhere. There isn’t an expiration date on killing yourself.

HERE4UOK 5/13/2016 - 12:04 pm

I agree with you 100%, HDS…
@birds-will-sing-if-we-fall, come on. Stay with us. You deserve better than this, especially when there is SO much more to come and enjoy life with out there. Trust us, you don’t know what you don’t know and this is a rushed decision. Give us a chance?

muspelhem 5/13/2016 - 3:32 pm

This is so sad, and your farewell messages just go to show that you are a thoughtful person. From your last post it sounds like some kind of psychological problem just exploded a couple of years back. I feel like I can relate a bit, because my problems only started getting really big shortly before I finished high school. Early adulthood is a pretty common time for these things to come to a head.

I hope you survive and find a cure for your tortured mind. I know how dreadful it is.

Hugs

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