I could call the police before hand so they could send a paramedic to collect my body before my roommate gets off work at midnight. I would die instantly. Then it’d be over.
I know how you feel. I tried to kill myself last December. But here I am. People say it gets better. I don’t think it is always true, but you won’t know if you don’t try. I know that you hurt, I really do. But if you are absolutely sure that it will never get better, go with your judgement. If there is a chance of bearing the pain for now, wait it through. I am miserable, but I have small, shreds of something that feels hopeful that makes me glad I didn’t die for a few moments of some days. Sometimes it is worth the pain for the. If you can make it, bear the pain and keep trudging. Cling on to any chance of it being treatable; it doesn’t matter if it is prescription or therapy, even if you turn to drugs, alcohol or smoking. It doesn’t matter. Just do Whatever makes it bearable until you find something to live for, no matter how small. I took Vicodin once a week to feel joy euphoria for a few hours. I would take the pain just to get to the few good hours at the end of the week. It was the small thing to look forward to for me. It is your call to make about what is better for you, I just want you to know you are not alone in what you are going through. But if you are sure that it is untreatable and unbearable I hope you find peace in the afterlife, if it exists.
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I know how you feel. I tried to kill myself last December. But here I am. People say it gets better. I don’t think it is always true, but you won’t know if you don’t try. I know that you hurt, I really do. But if you are absolutely sure that it will never get better, go with your judgement. If there is a chance of bearing the pain for now, wait it through. I am miserable, but I have small, shreds of something that feels hopeful that makes me glad I didn’t die for a few moments of some days. Sometimes it is worth the pain for the. If you can make it, bear the pain and keep trudging. Cling on to any chance of it being treatable; it doesn’t matter if it is prescription or therapy, even if you turn to drugs, alcohol or smoking. It doesn’t matter. Just do Whatever makes it bearable until you find something to live for, no matter how small. I took Vicodin once a week to feel joy euphoria for a few hours. I would take the pain just to get to the few good hours at the end of the week. It was the small thing to look forward to for me. It is your call to make about what is better for you, I just want you to know you are not alone in what you are going through. But if you are sure that it is untreatable and unbearable I hope you find peace in the afterlife, if it exists.