caffeine and depression

I’ve been super depressed for the past two weeks for multiple reason, got to the point where I didn’t talk for almost 3 days, most of my family didn’t notice even though I’m usually a hyper basket case, my parents aren’t very observant or intuitive.  The past two months I was fine, some minor lows but I felt great because I was abusing coffee, started off with a shot of espresso the first day then over a period of weeks increased my tolerance to 8+ shots of espresso a day or sometimes 9 cups of coffee.  I’m careful at first since it releases stress hormones (cortisol) which duh stresses me out, I feel it in my upper back but it’s worth it because caffeine literally kills my depression.  If I do too much at once I can also have an anxiety attack but if I’m careful it rarely happens.  I also try to cycle the coffee so I don’t build up a tolerance, one or two weeks on, the same time off.  Like I said the past few days were very bad and I wasn’t even talking, took a half of a 100mg caffeine pill today, I felt amazing and was joking with friends on line and family within 15 minutes!  The downside for me is that I’m allergic to caffeine and it messes with my auto immune disease but it’s better than the alternative.  Just giving a heads up to see if this might help anyone, I hope it does!  Peace out!