Have you died but you are physically alive?
For example when I’m asked my age I reflexively want to say “21” except I’ll be 24 here soon. I also no longer have any desires, aspirations, goals, or dreams.
Ultimately I feel like the Corpse Bride.
“And I know her heart is beating
And I know that I am dead
Yet the pain here that I feel
Try and tell me it’s not real
For it seems that I still have a tear to shed” – Tears to Shed lyrics.
So is anyone else dead alive?
5 comments
I’d be 21 in november. I keep thinking I’m 18, then I remember that I’m not lol
Yup. I feel like the walking dead since about 2011. Haven’t had friends since then. Haven’t been working most of that time. Definitely have lost any sense of how old I actually am. Through living in the past and always examining memories, and the weeks/months/years going by that are all the same with me sitting alone in my room, it definitely feels like a time warp. Unfortunately I have people trying to call me about a job and as much as I know I need to take it unless I really plan to be dead soon, I really don’t want to return to the normal world of waking up just to go to work.
Feel similar to Specter. I’m 28, but it doesn’t matter at all, I could be 15 or 70. I can move, see, speak, write, but also no dreams, feelings, desires – just anxiety. Thats when life sucks all your energy up.
Yes, I ended many years ago but am still here. Sometimes I wonder if I could live again since I still have interests, but it feels pointless to pursue them.
In my case I died in 2010 when lost all true friends I had and just walk this earth with no real purpose but to find a “reason”. I am tired and feel much older in mind than body considering I find everything pointless and am also a nihilist. I guess I will find the nearest natural reserve and end the pain but love reading people’s stories like yours to understand depression a lot more and why I have it.