I really think that its totally surprising that I have made it this far in life.
I am 44 years of age. I have had everything against me in this life…. including an abusive childhood, mental and emotional issues because of that over the years. Low self esteem. Physical disabilities.. and other issues including medical bills and financial problems. But yet > I somehow wake up everyday and think. How the fuck have I made it this far. How come I haven’t died at some point. Why have other people died so young but me with all my daily struggles just keep going and going? Its just weird. Even when I was young child teachers in school predicted I would be dead befor I hit 30. But I am 44 and still alive. Im still alive, and I cant figure it out. Some days I think that its a blessing that I am still alive and some days I think its a curse that I am still alive. I cant figure it.
This thing called life is just full of surprises.
I have been the most likely to die young… but I will probably outlive everybody. WTF??
9 comments
welp I guess grats? O.o
thanks shatterediris. i guess the Big Guy upstairs has plans for me other then a early death.
LOL
Its not that easy to die as it may seem 😀 I’m “just” 28, but I feel also like I’have been here through ages…
Yes metalwarrior665 you are exactly right. I have been so close to death many times in many ways. Car accidents, ATV accidents, Suicide attempts and medical issues and you are right. Its not as easy to die as one might think. and YES I feel like you do. I am only 44 but I feel like I have been here for a long long long time. Its very weird. But somehow I just keep going.. and I keep trying to believe that the best years of my life are ahead of me.
that is what keeps me going
Thats nice for you. My psychologist said that people who have problems earlier in life have some advantage in that they don’t loose so much. There is some logic in that…
your a shinning light full of piss and vinegar!!! 🙂
LOL.
I will be 44 in a few weeks. It feels like such a long time doesnt it? Personally, I think you making it all these years shows inner strength.
Thanks, I guess it has taken some inner strength, i never thought if it that way. Thanks. I think its going to take a lot of strength to try and make it to 50. Im not sure if I can make it that far.
we shall see. thanks for the nice comments.