Welp I know I posted just a bit ago, but I like today poem quite a bit even though it is a little awkward with rhythm and pacing in a few spots…. I don’t think it’s too horrible, and I quite like it, I probably could refine this quite a bit and it would be rather good. ^_^
*start*
There once was a real young child
He grew up happy rowdy and wild
Just hung around the house all day
Doing cartwheels he thought it’d stay that way
Forever, but then school just came
After that nothing ever was the same
It was nice at first, he made some friends
But he learned that life has some bends
when he quickly lost all those friends
He was told that he is stupid
He starts to feel secluded
He goes home and starts to cry
He’s hated but doesn’t know why
His mom walks in sees the tears in his eyes
She asks what’s wrong with my chadders?
He looks down and says I am shattered
Now he’s staring at his wrists
Watching how the blood just drips
It makes him feel whole again
To take a blade and slit his skin
Wide open, He just keeps on hoping
That this will dull his emotion
He hates himself, he has to punish
Who he is, he started with punches
He hit so hard he was leaving bruises
If people saw he’d make excuses
He soon did pick up a razor
To him this was his eraser
To his pain and his torment
These cuts were oh so frequent
Every day he had to bandage
His arms, He wishes he could vanish
He wonders if his mom would cry
Over his body if he died
I’m sorry mom, I have tried
Now I’m thinking about my suicide
This world is cruel and dark
It tore me up like a shark
I just want to disembark
My actions have missed the mark
My dreams are dead there’s no retractions
They have no breath or reactions
So what do I do now?
Keep on living? How, just how?
Do I stay alive when I’m dead inside?
My mind is just so untied
And scrambled that I have to hide
My thoughts are not unified
I’m lost and so confused
By my peers I’ve been abused
It made me feel unenthused
About the things that have amused
Me, I no longer find them fun
I should just go buy a gun
And off myself, just be done
Pull the trigger, just be done
*end*
I’m not too fond of the last 8-10 bars or so, I feel like they could be a lot better…. Also not sure if I like the last line, with the hard T sound as it doesn’t really show up anywhere else, but I did want to try to use a sound that feels a bit out of place, not sure if I like it yet…. Also I sort of wish this was much more cohesive, but making sense and staying on topic is something I can never do…. -_- welp I hope somebody finds this enjoyable 😀
2 comments
It was good for me
yay ^-^