Instead of hijacking a post I’ll just start my own. I live with my mom and little sister in Charlotte NC a city i have only been in for 2 1/2 months. I am socially dormant by nature. Though fear plays a part lack of knowledge plays a bigger one. How does someone put themselves out there. I missed something in social development clearly. I dont know how to make friends. I made very few friends in school and its years later. I want to find a girlfriend if i am going to be here. The generic phrase to answer this is to put yourself out there. Online dating hasnt worked out that well as im not exactly photogenic. But even outside of dating what does putting yourself out there mean?
It has always come off like a throwaway generic statement like cheer up or it’ll get better. I literally would love a putting yourself out there outside your comfort zone tutorial. I almost feel like putting yourself out there assumes things like you like bars or social networking or other things people do in groups just because. I dont know what steps someone takes to have a social circle. I work i go to stores the gym and home. Im in one of 4 places or going to those places. What could one possibly do to be out there. Please read this as inquisitive. So if you read this in a condencending tone re read it lol. Seriously idk how people meet people outside of work and school. I work in to small an office with people i couldnt have less in common with and don’t go to school. I honestly dont know of anyone meeting someone anywhere but work school and facebook and facebook makes me even more suicidal than i already am.
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Ok I’ll give you an example. I did an internship where I knew no one there. However, over the weeks that I shared with those other people we got to know each other enough to converse. That’s the type of environment you need. If you aren’t going back to school, consider adult classes to learn something new. I can’t speak for online dating because I haven’t done it. You sound like a decent person so I really think you can have what you want you just need to find your inner confidence to approach people when your genuinely interested.
I don’t have space / opportunities to approach people. Taking a class for its own sake seems silly especially financially. There are things i want to teach myself but i can do that for free using the internet. I keep telling myself that I am going to do zumba or muay Thai or something active like that. Maybe that would help? Idk i appreciate your suggestions though
In general, “putting yourself out there” means being able to handle rejection. Typically, ladies don’t respond well at the gym, just a heads up.
Some things that sound silly but work. Gas Station. Presuming you find the cashier suitable. Compliment her. Make it a regular thing. Then ask her out to coffee. Lunch, whatever.
You want a date for sure? Get on a first name basis. Send her flowers at work with a note “Dinner at (place)? (name and number)”
Be outgoing, confident, and corny as hell
There is this one cashier at this one gas station that is hot lol
Trust me I know what you mean. I worked at a restuarant for a year.. I have a good idea about who my coworkers are at this point in time, know them all on a first name basis etc. However, I wouldn’t necessarily go and hang out with them outside of work.. They are all quite different from me, mostly outgoing and happy.. Most of them are old enough to be my parents, and the few that are aroung my age are in relationships or married or engaged or something.. I felt so out of place with them, in truth.
I did the whole eat sleep work repeat thing. It was all I could really think to do.
However, with a job that forces you to be friendly and outgoing, you wind up meeting other people… You may need to find a venue where you aren’t as pressured to go and meet people, possibly?