I’m so sorry guys, you wished me luck and I failed. I’m so so sorry, I’m a disaster.
They sent me an e-mail that said I failed, they didn’t even put the scores I got, just this monotonous “You have not passed”.
What irks me the most is that they told me the test contents, and I studied a lot those. But in the test they didn’t ask a single question of all of that. Nothing!! Just a lot of number theory that (of course) I couldn’t do because I’m so stupid.
What was I thinking? Someone like me, finally getting something good. To be finally free from the monsters, to be happy for once. Yeah sure, that god up there that hates me a lot won’t let anything good happen to me.
I cried a lot, more than any other day of my pathetic existence. It’s over, this is the dead end.
August 15 is so so near, and I have this feeling that I’ll do it this year. Even if I still have things I want to do for september and october. Even if my few precious friends invited me to go with them to a convention. Even if I have to participate in two contests. Even if I finally managed to buy a set of nice clothes for me. Even if my only reason to live is not over yet. Still…
I’m so scared.
Today starts the countdown, I guess: 10 days left.
3 comments
It’s alright to fail, it’s human to fail. It’s also human to try,try and try again. It’s a bit weird about your test. If you were applying for a humanities course/degree, you’re supposed to get a test that tests primarily literacy and comprehension, with just a little bit of math in between. Also, not being able to do maths doesn’t mean you’re stupid. There’s countless other facets of intelligence apart from just numbers.
I was a failure at a school as well. You not the only one. I’m scared too as my suicide date nears. I always don’t want the day to end cause I’m so scared. I don’t what do anymore
Sorry you didn’t get the results you wanted. We all fail sometimes. You tried your best, that is what matters most. It is weird that the test was all math, instead of what you studied. You found this opportunity for escape, you can find another you just need to keep making plans.