Hello everybody, i haven’t posted in a while but found some things out and felt the need to share. Some of you know my story, of the things I’ve lost and what brought me to this site. I recently found out that my friend that cost me my business was also talking to and keeping my wife company whenever i was out of town for work. Of course my first thoughts were to hunt him down and beat him like an animal. After a cooling down period i just let it go, I’ve been divorced for over a year now so the damage is done. Now i found out that his wife caught him cheating and has divorced him. Also he is spun out on crank and has lost his home, all his vehicles, sold everything he had and now staying wherever he can. Amazing seeing how 4 years ago he was making between 5-7 million a year with his trucking business which he also lost but blamed on the economy. Now i lost everything, my wife, my family, my vehicles obviously in the divorce, and the money i had in our business venture together. Everything because of him, but yet i feel sorry for him. Is there something wrong with me ??? Our friendship is over for good obviously, and even though he’s the reason for my loss, i know the pain of everything he’s going through now. You’d think I’d be happy but I’m not. Any thoughts ???
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Im a pretty inexperienced no body, but earlier today throughout the day a kind person took it upon themselves to listen to me and talk to me. Im going to try to give this my best shot. Um first off im sorry that a year ago all that happened. Not only your company but your wife. I know what pain feels like and im sorry. That must have been really tough and probably still stings a bit. I dont think something is wrong with you. You know what he is going through. You have felt the same exact pain before and i dont think any of us would want that on our enemies. Its human to be sympathetic and shows character that you can find it in yourself to actually show sorrow towards someone who ruined your life. Thats my 2 cents worth. Hope it helps
Thank you, that does help. And i wouldn’t call you a nobody. It takes a special person to give kind words and try and help someone, especially a complete stranger, and experience comes with age, but you sound wise beyond your years, and again i thank you for your kind words.
You are welcome. If you still need to talk the reply button is below. Im free.
Thanks, you know when i found this site, this is exactly why i joined. I met a lot of good people here. It’s funny how you can find some kind of peace from total strangers and not the people that are in your every day life. But i think that’s the beauty of SP. I really appreciate it.
I just need people to talk to. This may make me a bad person. But i am not okay myself. It helps me to help others. I have been feeling like this my whole life. I know personally that i just want a friend who knows what im talking about. Its comfortimg to just know that this person knows your pain. They probably feel it as they type. And its not fake.
That doesn’t make you a bad person, we all need friends. But i come here because of the comfort that we all try to give to each other, ( to ease the pain ) wanting to help people with their problems is a wonderful thing, more people should try doing it. And I’ve met quitea few people here that i consider friends.
Sometimes i worry about what i say. I know alot of us are suicide risks myself included and i dont want to give someone the feeling of being passsed over or ignored or. Just bad things. You never know what you write can do. You may have saved them or killed them. I just try to let people know they arnt alone that we are all right here. We cant see you or touch or hear you but we have read your post. We have related. And above all. Its okay even if their worlds ending. Its okay, its going to be okay. I think we need someone to tell us that at some point
I agree, it’s nice not being judged. I myself have delt with my demons for as long as i can remember, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve been working on making my life better. ( i figure that i deserve it ) something i never felt before. I still have my moments and when i do i post and i get help from people like yourself. But i come here and read and try and help when i can. And so you know, whenever I’m here and you need to talk don’t hesitate to write especially if you’re feeling bad. Because, like you, i want to help whenever i can. To give back, ya know ?
I put a post out last night. My girl left me. Its really hard because its my fault. For being suicidal and depressed i put to much strain on her. I thought it was going great after 2 years. She said other wise out of the blue. So i quit my job. And im moving to my dads across the state. I have had constant depression my whole life but this on top of that. I need a new beggining where i wont see her everytime i look at my bed, or drive down the street, or go to work. Etc. I can just vizulize her. I asked her if i can fix it. She said no. Never. That i was a emotional leetch. And did to her what my mother did to me. And she feels burdened and guilty and needs to live life without me. So i figure she gave me the reason. She told me she will never ever take me back. So im going to go get a new start. Maybe. I got paid today and i love her. To death. She was the one. For me anyways. But the pain from her and from depression in general. Iv been really wanting to go buy a shotgun and do it already. I was goimg to today but. I think i got scared. Or i was hoping to try to win her back again. I really want to die. Scientifically speaking it should be absolute nothingness after i die. And thats what i want. Just an infinite sleep where i can find peace
Well let me share alittle about me. In 2001 i lost my first love in a car accident, my dad in 03, my mom in 04, my oldest son in a car accident in 2012, my grand daughter in 2014, two days later my nephew overdosed in my house, and my grand son in 2015. And a you know my wife, family, home, cars, job, business ect ect. I’ve made it and i keep on making it and so can you. It’s her loss brother, move with tree dad, start over, and find somebody worthy of you, she’s out there. Don’t let anybody take away your happiness.
Yeah.. it just hurts. Alot. Idk if you ever felt this but that lost feeling? You are so lost and confused and hurt you can literally go driving and cant pick a destination. Or pace and not know what to do. Or think about your life and feel like its bland and gloomy and you dont know where to start? Yeah.