My plan, and my question.

I think about killing my self often. These thoughts of suicide, I’ve had them for the past five years. As the time has passed, up until now they have only progressed and became more and more frequent.  Now, I seriously think about killing my self on average of about three times a day at least. I’ve noticed that through out the years I’ve only gotten more serious about it. As I recall, it began with thoughts of more unrealistic methods of suicide or death. Back then I was basically just toying with the idea of killing my self. Recently, in the past two years, I’ve gotten to the point where it’s not just an idea I’m tossing around my head anymore. I’ve made it clear to my self and I’ve grown comfortable with knowing that these thoughts aren’t going to go away on their own. I understand that in order to stop having such frequent thoughts and urges of suicide, that I “should seek professional/medical help” but I don’t want that(so please don’t suggest such things to me). I already self medicate with heroin (which makes me actually want to keep living) and that isn’t going to last forever, I don’t want it to. So through out the past five years, from then up until now, I’ve made a decision. This decision I’ve made is to kill my self and succeed in doing so on the first attempt and not leave behind a crazy mess of a chaotic reaction from the people it will affect. Every time I’ve tried in the past had been unsuccessful, which was either because I wasn’t too sure about it or because it was an impulsive spur of the moment thing that I hadn’t actually planned on doing in advance.  I am completely one hundred percent sure that I don’t want to live anymore and that I do want to, and will follow through with this. So what I plan to do is to let the few people in my life know that this choice of mine has nothing to do with them personally or any impact they may or may not have had on my life, and to not hold it against them selves and feel responsible for my death (as I have seen before in other cases of suicide).

So, solely based on the fact that I want to make sure others are aware that my suicide is not their fault, and that I do not want anyone to feel responsible for, or to feel like they could have “saved” me if they had done something different. My question is: Do you think that this is an appropriate way to assure people that this is what I want and that I do not want anyone feeling like they could have done something different to help me or change the outcome of the situation? Is there something I should add to clarify how I want them to feel(or not feel)?

I am NOT looking to see comments saying things around the lines of, “suicide is not an appropriate way to assuring people of anything” “why do you care how people feel after you’re dead” “suicide is not the answer” “you should seek help” or anything going against my question or feelings on this subject.

Though suggestions on how to go about getting my point across to people would be appreciated. (By “getting my point across” I’m not referring to my suicide, I’m referring to how I want to make sure that no one feels responsible or feels like they could have helped in any way to change this.)