Suicide Or Life

I can’t promise that there won’t be times where you still want to down the road, and I can’t promise you won’t eventually go through with it, I can promise you 17 is not the age to do it. I’m incredibly grateful that I didn’t at that age, even when I wanted to. I may be more likely to now than I’ve ever been, but I would have missed so much good in life if I had done it as a teenager.

I fell in love twice. I went to college. I have been arrested. I’ve survived homelessness. I dug myself up from nothing to having a home, and a good job, and a wife, and a beautiful son. I experienced my son being born, held a child that was my own blood in my hands. There is no greater love or feeling than that which you have for your child. I would have missed so much of life if I had left at 17. I know it’s hard, believe me I truly do. But take life one day at a time, once enough days go bye you will look back and be grateful for some of those days. I promise.

I can tell you’re upset, it shows. And the feelings you describe, trust me you are far from alone in those. If I exit, it’ll take a couple days for anyone to even notice, and a couple more to come looking. As for mistakes in the world, they are endless. Out of 7 billion people, I can assure you there are billions who actually deserve death and don’t just want it. The world isn’t perfect, far from it. It’s unforgiving, doesn’t follow logic or what is morally right, but it’s the world we live in.
I’m not saying it’s some beautiful place, interesting yes, beautiful no. I’m not saying it’ll get better either, typically things are in a constant flow between good and bad. I’m merely saying that you lose nothing by giving yourself time. A final exit will always be there as an option, might as well live like it right? Live every day like it’s your last, go to sleep, do the same the next day. You’ll be amazed by where life takes you, I sure am. Never imagined eyes as perfect as my sons. Never imagined losing my son. Never imagined being homeless, never imagined getting out of homelessness. Life is interesting, ugly and imperfect sure, but certainly interesting.