Everything that happens around me or to someone else, effects me so deeply, it can paralyze my life. Meaning it’s hard for me to move on with my life when there’s a lot of hurt around me.
I recently found out one cousin took out a knife and tried to stab my other cousin. The one who took out the knife, I’ll call him J. This didn’t happen in my house. It happened in the house J lives in with his brother T. My grandmother warned J’s mom months ago that he has emotional issues and that he could be a danger to other people. My grandmother also warned my cousin T to never leave his baby around J because he might snap. So this recently happened and T is staying at my house for a few days until things try to settle with his brother J. I told J’s mom when she goes to the court date, she needs to make it clear he needs a psych evaluation and to be put away in a psych ward.
How do you ever trust a family member that pulled out a knife on another family member? That’s some crazy shit. My family is fucked up and I’m falling down. I’m not feeling suicidal this time, but I just want it all to be over. My body aches. I took benzos to sleep, hopefully they work soon. Then another day comes… What did I do so bad to deserve this?
I need to get out of here. Things have been going downhill all year.
4 comments
We aren’t automatically required to trust anyone, even family, it’s their actions and behaviour that make us feel comfortable with them and able to share. Once that bond is broken it’s implied that the trust is revoked, possible forever (depending on what is best for all involved including yourself) or until such time as the persons subsequent actions and behaviours (which you require objective proof of) deem reinvestment.
It’s something that will come naturally and should not be forced.
You’re absolutely right. We are not required to trust even family members. That breaks my heart, but it’s true. Family is supposed to be there for you. I’m learning more and more that strangers could be nicer to you than “family”. My family is broken and I know they talk shit behind each other’s back. I need to get away from my family. I’m tired of not wanting to live. It’s the same thing every day. I hate my life and need to make changes I don’t feel like making.
As you said earlier J have emotional issues..well its not like you told me the whole story of what really happened between J and T..but its not easy having emotional issues maybe there is time that even J cant control it so why put the whole blame to him..i just cant understand how you lose your trust to someone so easily..it dont make sense..J have emotional issues and you know that..i also had this time that i pulled out a knife to my cousin..im emotional that time and i dont seem to control myself..but people around me helped me to calm down and no one judged me just because of that..nobody blamed me after all they know that i wasn’t in my normal state that time..im rather disappointed to you than what happened to J and T..
What if J killed my cousin? My cousin fought for his safety. He put a chair up in front of J and pushed him down. I have MANY emotional issues, but when it comes to pulling out knives and being violent, that’s a different story,
I did my part by informing his mom he needs to go to the psych ward and get help. Period.
The fact is, he could’ve actually killed my cousin and I don’t talk that lightly. Your nonchalant attitude is disturbing. When you go around pulling out weapons on people, don’t be surprised if people don’t trust being around you. Then you have the nerve to say you’re disappointed in me? I’m sorry, but fuck you. I’m not putting up with dangerous people. That crosses the line.
I have always been cool with J so after he gets the help he needs, I’ll see how it goes.
It reminds me of those people who walk around the streets with weapons and get shot down by the police. There’s always some asshole that says “Awww he was mentally ill. He didn’t deserve that.” I understand mental illness, but when you bring out weapons, you should be shot the fuck down. I don’t tolerate people who put other’s lives in danger.