I see people all around me smiling and laughing. People I want to talk to, people I want to be friends with. They have such beautiful smiles and such contagious laughter. How is it so hard for me to come up with something to say. How is it so hard to make friends. I feel that where I am at now, I wil be going downward in the future. I stick with the only friends I got; and they are not bad people, I just feel that meeting new people has a positive effect on you. I stick with the same friends who will probably not stick with me as they are in relationships and trying to get there own thing going for them. I am just the 5th wheel. The forever alone guy. The quiet guy. Im just lonely. I have close friends yet I feel so lonely. I need to meet someone. I need companionship.
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I feel you man, those days we live in are sure difficult for men to find a companion
For me, what makes things hard to say is that everything that I do say shows me as the buzzkill that I am. I exude misery and truly have the ability to suck the life out of even the most extroverted and happy people in the room with one remark that does nothing more than reveal what is constantly going around and around in my head all day. Because of this, I have noticed that I have distanced myself from most of my friends, knowing that either they won’t understand the gravity of what I say, or that I will just worry them and make them miserable when I speak. I hate being alone, but there is only so much that I can reasonably expect of people when I tend to wipe those smiles off of all of their faces whenever I am not silent.