tired of life

Trying to push each day..everydaY is becoming unbearable.these 23 years were nothing but a whole lot of pain.she is waiting for a miracle but does not seem to happen..she wants to go to the next eternal life but even that does not seem happening.I try of committin suicide each day but the fear of going to helll stops me..i hope I will die before I start ignoring that suicide is a sin.please pray that I die.?