Ugly and inconsequential and old and decaying

I totally understand how you feel. You look at everyone else and see them as perfect, wonderful and beautiful. But when it comes to yourself, you put yourself down and can’t see anything good. Well since your older, you have to look at yourself as strong. I mean, to make it to as long as you have lived on this earth with constant pain and suicidal thoughts, shows that you are really strong. I read somewhere that Death is easy, peaceful. Its life that’s hard. So by living all these years with the constant unbearable pain shows your strength. And no, it does not mean your a coward for not committing suicide. To get up and open your eyes to a new day means something. Even if its just to lay in bed all day. At least you made it through. I read so many posts here and don’t know how to reply because I feel everyone’s pain. Its hard to form a reply because its like replying to myself, you know. And at least, when you finally do leave, you would have given it your all. So no regrets, which is great for you. I truly do hope you find peace.