I should just let him fuck me whenever he wants. Even if I have his words playing in my head over and over. Even though I’m so stressed out that my period actually stopped for two months. I tried to reach out to people. Tried to find a friend in those who were there before but that was a mistake. I go online and type “My boyfriend wants to have sex but I don’t”. Found ONE article in which the answer-er was sympathetic. The rest were all leaning towards compromise. “It’s your obligation as a woman to meet your mans needs.” Go fuck yourself you stupid fucking *****! I’d like to see you fucking compromise while you’re stressed out of your fucking mind and severely depressed. Every fucking time I compromise… I’m talking days I REALLY don’t want to fuck… I always fucking cry myself to sleep or even cry during sex without letting him see. I should just let him use me. I don’t know how to numb myself to this. He wants me to advance him sexually. How the FUCK do I do that when I’m not in the fucking mood. You want it?! Come and fucking get it. I don’t want to do this shit so you need to figure out how to make me want it because your fucking way is not working. Making me feel like shit everyday for not wanting shit. Go fuck some random ***** outside! I DON’T GIVE A FUCKKKKKKKK. Asshole doesn’t masturbate because he “Doesn’t believe that he needs to do that.. that’s your job”…. It’s my fucking “job”. I could leave him. But he wont leave unless I sign over custody of our child. He treats me like I’m some spiteful ***** ready to fuck him over at the drop of a hat. He wants me to sign away my rights as my child’s mother… in exchange for my fucking sanity and not having to spread my legs because it’s my “obligation”. Fuck my ***** or fuck my mind, pretty much. My love for my child… I could never do what he asks… therefore… I have to be his personal prostitute. I’d rather keep my baby… the only thing that gives me joy… than to lose my soul completely. I have to pretend like what I need doesn’t exist, let him fuck me and smile while he does it. Oh and I have to “woo HIM”.
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3 comments
You could try marriage counseling. Perhaps you could see a personal counselor. Antidepressants might be the answer for you. Religion might help. It may be tough, but consider start going to they gym—you will feel better physically and mentally. I am not in the same situation that you are in, but I feel for you. Sorry to hear about your poochie. I think dogs make the best companions.
I hope you find something that helps you. Peace.
it never ceases to amaze me how fucked up us men can be. im sorry in behalf of ur fucked up boyfriend.
i have the reverse problem to u. my wife wants sex and im the one saying no! its such a difficult situation your in, maybe try giving hormone replacement therapy tablets. the elevated estrogen might cool his jets a bit.
anyway just wanted to say i hear u.
Some men are way past marriage counseling, drugs don’t solve everything, and religions are traditionally more harmful to women than helpful. Also, telling someone in an abusive relationship to just fix themselves is rotten: they aren’t the problem.
JusTired, I’ve partially been where you are now, and I’m sorry you have to deal with that shit. Would that there were easy answers for your situation. The little bit of advice I feel at all comfortable imparting–I’m not a mother, and I don’t understand maternal instinct at all–is to reach out to a local domestic violence shelter for help if you can. Because that is abuse, no ifs, ands, or buts, and you don’t deserve that. I spent years trying to justify his behavior, and there is no justification. I hope some resolution finds you. At the risk of being trite, it can get better.