Hi guys. I would really love to hear your story of why you are here. We all have some pain which has brought us together. Please post your story
I’ll start with mine
I am 23. I first started having suicidal tendancies 5 years back. Anything that could take me away from this world excited me. I was not unhappy but I didn’t want to live. Maybe because It felt mundane. I have never attempted to commit suicide but I have at sometime wanted to. I have used blades to cut and rubber bands to snap. The physical pain sometimes helped me cope with emotional pain. I haven’t done that in a long time either but I feel the urge to. So while I still want to live I enjoy physical pain.
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Ok, then, here goes.
I was ten when I had a panic attack over a school assignment, and had to go to the hospital. Then I got on meds when I was twelve, and until I was sixteen, my parents told me I was useless and always needed to calm down. So, I became basically a shut-in, trapped in my emo phase until about six months ago, though I’m still in it, sort of. I turned eighteen, and my parents made me get a job after I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and they said they can’t deal with me being like this anymore. I moved to the basement, and adopted a dog which they hate worse than me. Around this time I got a job in retail, and three weeks into it, I had a mental breakdown.
And now I’m CryingMaple, my favorite tree combined with what I do all day. At first my name was going to be WeepingWillow, but I went with this instead.
I used to post on Whisper, but the people here are much more supportive, especially when I tried to commit suicide for the third time a few weeks ago, when I found this site.
So, I’m here because I have no where else to go, no one to talk to, and nothing left to live for.
Have you been doing better? Don’t u get meds for bipolar disorder? Try getting a job or something which isn’t too stressful. Maybe being out of the house will help you
I do have meds but they aren’t really helping and my cheap insurance won’t cover anything else. Yay. 🙁
one of the things that irk me are parents either ignorant or intolerant of their child with either BPD or Bipolar.. one thing is being shit parent.. but to try hard continue the shit streak after an actual diagnoses…. fuck that..
I’m sorry you won that lottery…
Thanks for your sentiments. 🙂
Don’t think there is enough time for me to write my entire life’s story that brought me here.
Suffice it to say I’m a 29yo cliche of a cliche, that after feeling like utter shit again, decided to dive deep into the rabbit’s hole, that is this wonderful site.
Having stalked it anonymously for years without posting, I figured why the hell not, better than to selfharm again, not that the two has to be mutually exclusive of course… reading on SP just seem to take the edge of.. at times.
So here I might be, until my next “endeavor’s” success or fail+lockup
Being here and reading does in a strange way calm some part of my soul as well. I hope ur doing well
I have a slew of medical issues that are exacerbated by capitalism, which occasionally cause me to resemble a clown. My mind is progressively shriveling to the size of a raisin, which makes me wonder whether this is what it feels like to have Alzheimer’s. Also, other people exist, which causes me no end of misery and anxiety, but that’s not their fault. It’s circumstantial.
I am sorry it is the way it is. Don’t be too harsh on urself and too kind to people who don’t deserve it