So tired

Haven’t been on here in awhile dont even see the same names. Ive been trying my best to keep myself a little bit sane. I just really dont feel like trying anymore. Whatever path i take its only temporary happiness, life has its ways of crashing down hard. Snapping me back to reality. I hate myself, im tired of the pain. I dont want to feel worthless anymore. I want to feel like im meant to be here, feel special. All i know is pain.