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Suicide

by Ylem

…My head is taking me there once again. Especially since everything is falling apart. I might just do it tonight. I have nothing to lose anyway. I have lost everything.

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Hazy Day Sunflower 11/12/2016 - 9:36 am

I always imagine lions when I see your name Ylem. Beautiful lions quietly walking in the sunshine. They aren’t hunting, they are just slowly walking.

Gosh I’m so sorry you are in this state. You are a special woman, I mean truly special. All I can say is walking forward is what saves me. Just walking, not running. Nothing that will make me breathless. Eventually I look in the mirror and the woman I walked away from is gone. The woman I now see had a different light in her eye.

If you keep walking it never gets eaiser, only different. Sometimes different allows me to wake up and think that today will be ok.

hope432 11/12/2016 - 9:42 am

You can loose the darkness and your life, your tiny little world. Who knows what happens after death? At least here, you are in touch with your suffering. You feel us, our suffering and your suffering.

I live because I like to smoke cygars. I smoke 2-3 per day, and I usually don’t smoke friday, saturday and sunday. I guess, there are no cygars in the afterlife….

Hazy Day Sunflower 11/12/2016 - 9:47 am

I would like to imagine there are cygars in the afterlife. And cake. I don’t think I would want an afterlife where I can’t paint. What is the point of an afterlife where I don’t have the things that make my life of added value?

mindlessgamer619 11/12/2016 - 5:39 pm

Hello my lovely twin,
Seems we are both going through rough times.
I’m sorry things have gotten so bad. Please know that I will always cherish your friendship, and that I worry about you constantly. You’re so kind and loving, and you’re so strong. You do so much, much more than I will ever do, with the types of things you have to deal with. I respect you so much, and of course I will always love and appreciate you. I don’t want to lose you, however, I can definitely understand why you feel the way you do.. You know how I worry about you…

Hoping you stay strong and stay safe, your loving twin,
Trey, the mindless gamer

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