I’m one of those people who believes that if there is a god that I don’t have to give in an go to church for things to work out right. But more and more I feel distant from the kind of God that people celebrate. And I start to feel like whatever “God” people pray to doesn’t exist. My life has become a big mess and it seems like anyone holy holy will tell you to pray. I find it hard to pray. I found out not long ago that my cat is sick. Today I found out that not only is she sick but she’s going to have to spend time in the hospital away from me and they might have to force feed her. She’s just an innocent loving little cat. How could this happen? Why is it that this has to happen? Everyday I look forward to just loving her and now anytime I hold her she “meows” in pain. She doesn’t even fight me… she’s in so much pain. And I find myself feeling angry. At the same time my dad keeps getting more and more sick with cancer. I know when I talk to him he’s trying not to make me afraid for him but I am. There’s no cure for it. There’s no magic fix. He’s going to die from it probably sooner rather than later. Chances are I won’t be able to see him before he goes either because I live so far away. And I find myself angry again. At whatever made all of this…. I get angry. Last night I ended up waking up in a cold sweat and shivering from some stupid dream at 3 am… again why? I just feel so mentally exhausted from trying to understand why my life has to be like this. I’m sorry but I feel I deserve for things to get better. I gave up “the love of my life” to someone else because I was trying to be fair and good. So when is life gonna start being fair to me. When? I’d sure like to know. I know that people can say “god never promised you a rose garden” well screw that… I want to know why I got to suffer so much. If I was a god I wouldn’t be this cruel.
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I feel the same as you. It is so hard to justify suffering if there is indeed a benevolent god. Even if the benevolent god exists, he would definitely not be an empath, since if he can feel the unbearable anguish that humans go through he would probably be more compelled to make things right. More often than not they are not.
I feel for you. I’m so sorry for what you are going through.
I never thought I’d be an atheist but the more that I see people continue to suffer under such aweful circumstances the more I think its up to us as human beings to get it right by being good to each other and dealing with all the random crap that life can hand us. They say “god never gives you more than you can handle”. Well to me that’s a lie because I don’t know how to handle half the stuff that’s been dealt to me. That’s why I am such a trainwreck. Its like today I listened to the queen song “We are the champions and we’ll keep on fighting till the end”… seems to say it all for people on this website. We’re just fighting till the end. And may that end be when we are old and gray and have lived hopefully a good life or had a life that’s gotten at least moderately decent. I’m sorry for what your going through as well to be on this site.
I really hate that “God will never give you more than you can handle” saying because it is a misquote – and a harmful one, obviously.
I think, in and of itself, prayer is often a means of providing self-support and guidance. It also allows the opportunity to take a step back and meditate over thought and verse. Sometimes it’s helpful to take some time away, even if only for a short moment, from whatever is pulling on us.
If the role of a higher power was to cure (or prevent) ailments, reduce (or eliminate) problems, and erase any negativity in the world, then what would be the purpose of humans or other living entities? Why would we need brains or logic when everything would be fixed for us? Would there be no more predators because the animal kingdom would have food provided and wouldn’t have to kill each other any more? What would be the consequence of hard work or, for that matter, laziness? If a higher power was to balance things out, would there be no more individual differences?
Maybe there wouldn’t be illnesses any more. So that would mean no more doctors and nurses, no more medical centers, and no more need for highly specialized education. So that would eliminate the need for institutions of higher learning. I guess I’m suggesting that if a higher power’s existence is to guarantee no more suffering in the world, there might be some unintended consequences on the flip side.