Well fuck, here I am again. Just when I think I’m happy, shit hits a fan. My shit.
My heart is currently lodged in my throat, and it just might become permanent if I don’t figure myself out. I don’t know why I have such trouble with communicating my feelings, or just communicating in general, and I fear that it may ruin my relationship. I want to say how I feel so many times, but I just don’t know how to and by the time I figure it out, the timing is too late. Sometimes I just wonder if everyone would be better off without me, and most of the time I really believe it. I honestly just really want to cry right now because I hate myself and I hate this situation I’m in because I could probably fix it but I just don’t have the nerves or the know how or whatever to do so.
Sorry I’m rambling, I just don’t really have any other place to put these feelings.
4 comments
Hey babypanda,
None of us are experts on life. We’re all just plugging along figuring it out as we go. Expressing emotions is one of the most difficult things to do as a human. I used to have a major problem with this very thing myself and still do a bit but have gotten way better about it. Confronting someone with your feelings is hard. It leaves you vulnerable in so many ways and no one likes that….but communication is key to solving problems…especially in relationships. No one is a mind reader and no one can fix something wrong unless they know what’s wrong to begin with. Say you want to talk about some things bothering you and ask the person to be patient with you cause it’s difficult for you to be so open and then talk, tell them what you’re feeling and go from there. If they truly care they will listen and want to try to fix what’s wrong…that’s the sign you have a good healthy relationship and someone who truly cares about you. You can do it.Good luck. 🙂
hey, @jadedjewel , thanks. it means a lot to see a reply to this word vomit of mine. your words are very comforting, and i think you’ll be happy to know that i’m still going with this dude and that our relationship is pretty cool still. i managed to open myself up more, and am starting to get better at communicating with him. you are right, i can do it, and i am still working on doing better as well. thank you for your well wishes, they mean a lot~
Good to hear Babypanda. I hope it gets easier for you the more you do it and time goes on. I wish you much happiness. 🙂
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