I am 20, diagnosed with depression and anxiety. But everyone thinks I’m happy. Im not I’m a fuck up. I hurt everyone around me I don’t want to live anymore. I hate being me. The world has nothing for me anymore. I know it’ll hurt people but they should understand that it’s for a good reason. They’ll be better off without me.
My mum killed herself too, just following in her footsteps right. Suicide is like a sickness my family has we all end up thinking about it. Mum did it, dad tried, my sister said she tried, my brother said he tried, my other brother is dead and I don’t even know how he died (some say suicide some say accident) and lastly my little sister wants to… she even asked me to do it with her.
Living is just too hard…
4 comments
Trust me: people will not be better off without you. As you said, the world can be a dark place, and that is exactly WHY we need each other.
I seem to say this often, but the people I knew that killed themselves, that did NOT make my life better, on the contrary. Just one more good person I met that suddenly was gone. Someone whose company I could have enjoyed, but now I can’t.
That your family history is so dark only makes it more urgent that you break the cycle and realise that you deserve to be happy and to not be alone, just like your sister and the rest of your family does.
I am really sorry about your pain and suffering and the people you have lost, but please hang in there, and get all the help you can!
Hugs
It’s the constant ache in my chest…the longing to give up. It’s too much.
Okay even if it didn’t make you feel good isn’t it easier knowing that they’re not in pain anymore?
I’ve had help and still don’t feel any better… like is slow and painful I want it to end
*life is slow and painful
Of course I don’t want them to be in pain. But I don’t think they had to be. To me, it was basically a case of them not fitting into a very narrow definition of what it is to be an adult in this society. They struggled with fitting in, that is my take. That is something we have to change together, it is not something individuals should be killing themselves over.
I understand that it is terribly painful, but I think you need to carefully examine why you are in pain, and then find a way to move that weight of your chest.