I dunno what stage of the process this is, but fear for me is not on the same level it was before. I’ve still got some, I wouldn’t be human If I didn’t, but the exit door is so tempting, and my life and mind are so fucked up that I think I’ll do anything to check out.
1 comment
Yes, I know how this is, at the times I was really suicidal my fears also vanished to a minimum. My only desire was to end it and I thought nothing could stop me now but I always forced myself to rethink again think of all the people I would disappoint and make sad (perhaps??) and stuff like this and so I eventually ended up drinking some Vodka instead to make me forget (not recommended though; it did never really work that great and lead to more problems than solutions…). Yeah well…
Don’t even know why I’m saying this right now…
Actually I just wanted to tell you: Try to keep holding on. Believe me, I do know it’s freaking hard to do that but please try it. There WILL definitely be someone who would be sad if you’d be gone and if it are just some people from websites, like SP for example, or just me. There is ALWAYS someone. Really.
And besides there are still many things you want to do in life, right? Isn’t there a place you want to go? Or an activity you’ve always wanted to do?
Well, I don’t know, but these ways of thinking sometimes helped me out, when I reached the bottom again. Cause there are things I want to do before I finally die, and I don’t want to die with only those negative memories stuck in my head.