Why on earth would anyone want to have something like me in their life. I do not understand why anyone would be nice to me when all I do is cause destruction and chaos everywhere I go.
i don’t deserve to be loved. I’m such a mess and I have nothing to show for myself or my waste of a life… One thing I had and they will be free without me.
i don’t know who to speak to, I just keep putting on a brave face because no one likes an attention seeker, someone who crys everyday almost all day.
its easier to say your okay and have your temporary distractions to keep you from your own thoughts, going out in town to have drinks and have fun or to mask the real me and block all my problems out for one night with alcohol.
why was I put here, when all I do is hurt the ones I love, I don’t been to be a disappointment I wish I was someone who has accomplished amazing things, I wish could of made my family proud… I don’t deserve my family , I don’t deserve the Angel that stays with me in my heart forever.
ive took so many things for granted… It’s time to pay for that I can’t live with the guilt of not becoming the person I wish I could of been… What they wished me to be …
i don’t deserve to be loved, I don’t deserve your time, I don’t deserve anything but to die. I need to for them so they can see I would do anything to make it better if I could, I just cant
3 comments
Stop beating yourself up.
If you can do something for others, fine. Killing yourself will only be a loss for those who love you and for yourself. So not that.
Just do the good you can, the rest: forget about it.
I witnessed my wife commit suicide! I live every day wondering what I could have done to stop it. Hindsight is 20/20 and if I would have done a number of things I could have recognized what she was doing. But it was to late when I walked out the door and seen her put MY gun in her mouth and pull the trigger. I have wanted to do it every since. But until last year when I put the same very gun in my mouth to do it, I couldn’t. All I could think about was what my mom told me. She said if I do that I will probably never see her again. And that thought of never seeing the love of my life for the rest of eternity stopped me. I have lost 3 of the closest people to me from suicide. So if anyone on earth has a reason it is me. But I turn to god for strength. If you can’t or don’t believe then turn to someone that knows. Someone like me that can help you. Don’t be afraid to talk to someone, to tell someone how you feel. Sometimes just getting your feeling out will help you to keep going and keep trying. I’m not saying the battle ends, at least for me it doesn’t but I turn to faith and love to get me through each and every day.
im running out of reasons to stay and it sounds extremely selfish that I say that because I have two beautiful people who depend on me and my love for them …. I would do anything for them to get the happiness they deserve, but I just feel like I’m getting in the way of their goals and their futures I’m suppose to bring them up not down, it’s not going away but I wish I didn’t feel so sad and angry all the time, I’m really sorry to hear about your wife and the ones you loved, you must have one strong soul! They will always be with you in your heart.