I hate, HATE myself so much, I’ve never won or accomplished anything in my whole life there is nothing about me that’s worth being proud of…I’ve got no friends, not ones that want to see me everyday and go for a drink or something to eat, I don’t go to college or have a job, and people keep telling me to get up and just do it and stop feeling sorry for myself and I’ve tried in my head to find that motivation and I really want to go to college I do, but my actions don’t show that, I have nothing left about myself, […]
alwaysloveyou2.1.15
Yet again I’ve caused a chaotic explosion in my home and in my head, got a little drunk again like I think I’m literally a little drunk I got jealous of my own best friend because I didn’t want my boyfriend thinking she was better what the fuck goes through my head and why am I so angry every time I get pissed up now? Drinking is suppose to be fun isn’t it?, yeah okay then, boyfriend ended up fucking off and going with his mates, I can’t blame him now though I completely understand I’m losing all self control, he’s loyal, understand and he […]
what 18 year old has no one to spend Christmas with, this has to be the most hardest one yet. Please someone end my fucking misery
recently anxiety has been taking over my whole being, as soon as I leave the flat I feel like throwing up , having panic attacks, sounds stupid to some but I try hide my face Incase people will think I’m ugly, I can’t even eat alone if I’m in public and I’d be lucky enough to get all the way to counter with my food without worrying about their judgment. I hate being so difficult…. I constantly feel people think I’m an idiot and they don’t like me, I try so hard to be nice to everyone and I still don’t understand why I feel […]
Tonight was my boyfriends Christmas work do…. I’ve never went out in heels and a dress … Such a big thing for me I felt so nervous and I hadn’t got any sleep the night before so I was already pretty sensitive and tired… I had a few drinks to take the edge of before going down to the hotel pub. What an idiot I am. I just wanted to feel beautiful and happy for one night , I want to be happy and not just with the evening but with myself I just wanted to think I could be a beautiful person for atleast […]
Why on earth would anyone want to have something like me in their life. I do not understand why anyone would be nice to me when all I do is cause destruction and chaos everywhere I go.
i don’t deserve to be loved. I’m such a mess and I have nothing to show for myself or my waste of a life… One thing I had and they will be free without me.
i don’t know who to speak to, I just keep putting on a brave face because no one likes an attention seeker, someone who crys everyday almost all day.
I think maybe it’s time I’m honest with myself and understand I don’t really belong anywhere I hurt everyone and I hurt myself, this will my new project to end myself so I can save him and everyone else who I love. I just want to make it better. It’s time I finally finish something I need to complete this I need to give them their happiness back and I can’t do that if I’m here they deserve more because they are beautiful and I’m proud of them. I can finally get help to leave this place once and for all I’ve thought about it […]