I’m a grown man. I have a wife and children in their mid and late teens. I have a career
and I like what I do. I won’t become a millionaire but quite frankly not looking to either.
Without unmanageable debt, in good health, not religious but spiritually at peace with
my own convictions and family values. In general terms, I’m okay.
But I’m not.
I don’t know why. It just happens and it’s been like this for me for a few
years now. I’ll be driving and suddenly a knot clogs my throat and I can’t help bursting
out crying uncontrollably for about a minute or so.
I have tried to understand this, but I realize there no specific thought or
particular idea going through my mind at the times it happens. I haven’t
been listening to a song or music that could trigger such an episode.
But I cry.
I cry and for that moment, that ever so short instant, I feel this vortex
spinning in between my chest and gut sinking deep into my own self,
and it hurts and I can almost taste the sadness flooding from within and…
…then it’s gone.
It happened again just about an hour ago. My daughter’s friend came over to
visit and I heard them coming up the stairs, so I went out, said hello, hugged them
both, chit-chatted real quick, came back and sat down at my computer to resume work.
Bam, sinking again!
I was lucky, they didn’t hear me cry. But I know someday this may happen when I’m
not alone. That is the only pattern I have been able to notice, that each time it happens
I’m by myself. I don’t have conscious fears, phobias, or anger. I’m a good guy!
But I cry.
Do you?
4 comments
It’s probably repressed emotion. As men we are taught not to cry, you even said yourself that you are worried about others seeing it. I have that happen too when I repress things for too long. That may not be it for you, I just know that happens to me.
Wolfenstein626
You’re probably right. Even though I wasn’t really taught n o t to cry (I am pretty much an open book of emotions, another reason why it puzzles me), it may well be something my conscious self is blind to and inadvertently represses it… Thanks for your comment.
a man does not simply cry
fist bump, bro hug, shoulder punch, a smile with a choked laugh, double finger guns with a smirk and a wink,
push it down, bottle it up, suppress until bubbling over and exploding a decade later to go down in a blaze of glory
but never cry
you see, the man comes shipped straight from the factory fully functional and operational, but unlike the woman model, the man comes with these several optional features.
You can choose from a wide array of pecs, beer guts, air ventilated gonads. Even additional hair on limbs such as the arms, legs, hands, belly, palms, and ass (unfortunately we do not offer additional hair on the scalp other than what the model already arrives with). And also a completely library of prehistoric, neanderthal, sounds and facial expressions, currently the “confused, but angry monkey” is highly popular
Unfortunately however, all these accessories and customization options, means certain features and functions had to be cut. As such the man does not come with tear ducts attached or a sensitivity matrix, nor the CPU XX model necessary to comprehend complex equations much less emotion, including its own.
should yours the man model display anything that would suggest these features are available or active, we refer you to page 472 of the owners manual. You have the option to send it back to the factory for a full diagnostic and repair back to default factory settings, you can freely drag your model out in the back yard and terminate it with a shotgun, remember goggles. You also have the free right to send it to a third party unlicensed workshop for testing and/or confirmation of our diagnostic result, before they throw the model in the furnace and incinerate it.
However, we must stress, should any of these issue arise from tampering, self modification, homemade upgrades or improvements, your warranty is void and null, and your cost will not be reimbursed, nor the disposal fee rescinded. You are either stuck with it for eternity or must drag it out into the woods and leave it there, preferably tying it to a tree so it doesn’t follow you home again as it is clearly broken, defective and a faulty model.
Recommend purchasing a new model, have you seen our new “the man” models, early spring catalogue 2017, now including “extra stoic mode”, absolutely no extra charge
(fees and surcharges may vary even if otherwise stated)
Have a happy Man day
Welp, TLS –
At least you got me doing the exact opposite right now. I read your comments a while ago and kept giggling by myself here while I was busy, but now I’m openly laughing as I re-read your lines, lol
Quite creative and completely unexpected analogy; your use of irony only improves with the peppered-in cynical innuendos of the human dilemma of existence. “How One Repairs Its Engine… When it Isn’t Broken” must’ve been one of the Best Sellers you read in your youth, wasn’t it?
Priceless, my friend. P R I C E L E S S .
And thank you.