I think maybe it’s time I’m honest with myself and understand I don’t really belong anywhere I hurt everyone and I hurt myself, this will my new project to end myself so I can save him and everyone else who I love. I just want to make it better. It’s time I finally finish something I need to complete this I need to give them their happiness back and I can’t do that if I’m here they deserve more because they are beautiful and I’m proud of them. I can finally get help to leave this place once and for all I’ve thought about it all these years after sexual, verbal abuse bullying but I still strongly believe it is my fault I ended up so messed up, I’m starting to maybe have the realisation this is actually my destiny, my destiny to die, I had been thinking about this for some time, but I just don’t know where to start so help if you can please this is the last request, this is the only way I see out and maybe it’s the right way for me.
3 comments
You sound so much like a woman I know. She’s told me she’d be sparing everyone else by ending it, and that we’d be better off, and all I can say right now is if she died, I feel like what’s left of me would die too.
Sometimes I’m afraid of things like that too though. Like right now. I’m second guessing everything. Questioning. Analyzing. Would it be better if I died? My head and my heart are both saying probably, right now, and feel like it has to happen. It’s so hard to believe anything else, sometimes.
Sorry, it’s against the rules to talk about meth0ds. We can only provide other advice, or some companionship. A listening ear, so to say.
I’m not a big believer in destiny. This life is very fluid, and only a few things remain constant. I also don’t believe that one can ever give happiness by offing yourself, especially if it is for people you care about. It wasn’t your fault that you experienced abuse, and the subsequent issues. Any person would struggle immensly when faced with that. Have you ever contacted a mental health professional, or support groups? It’s extremely difficult to deal with this alone. However, there’s almost always a way to get to place where things are better. It isn’t impossible. Try to pinpoint why you feel that offing yourself is the only way forward.
It’s all of our destinies to die. No avoiding that.
Many people in your shoes seem to overestimate their ability to cause pain to those around them and underestimate their ability to help others.
You can do some good in the world and the world won’t come to an end as you wrestle with you fears and feelings.
Life is messy. It’s complicated. It’s not just you; everyone here is a goddamned lunatic. If they charged to get in, then life would be a ghost town.